Judge — April 27, 1929 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Monosyllabic Ejaculations And What To Do About It By Dr. Seuss The Perversion of “Ugh!’’ To me, our wanton misuse of the ejaculation “Ugh!” is most distressing. Only yesterday I was profoundly shocked to hear it from the lips of a seemingly intelligent steeplejack’s wife as she watched her husband fall off his steeple. I con- sider that inexcusable Properly used, “Ugh” should only be ejaculated by little girls of seven to express their contempt for brewery wagons. The more I think of that G stecplejack’s wife, the madder I get. Coaching a Deb A débutante’s success,” says Prof. Schnittknecht, the Gram- ian, “depends largely upon her proper use of words—espe- ly those sticklers, humpht! and faught” “If a boorish chap bri i ur coming-out party, you should always meet the situation with ‘Humph!’ nifies mild contempt and semi-unconcern. But if a boorish chap brings treo dead fish, you must actually be haughty is the term for two dead fish. Keep those words st pretty little head, and you will go a long ways socially A Costly Grammatical Error The worst blunder I ever made was in Buckingham Palace, where for three months I had passed myself off as the Prince of Wales. I had fooled the King, but the Queen was a wee mite suspicious, so one afternoon she had me beaned with a pot of geraniums. OOP!" I ejaculated > cat was out of the bag! (If you examine the accompanying chart, you will see that “OOP” is only used when a gentleman is he aned with a liste ine phial.) ce of the pxiled, and the Prince ¥ » whom I had hidden, was returned to his rightful estate, comicbooks.com