Judge, 1929-04-20 · page 13 of 36
Judge — April 20, 1929 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This Judge magazine page contains three satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century intellectual pretension and everyday absurdities. **Top cartoon**: "Not So Fast Mr. Jethro Budlong" depicts a man being corrected during dinner conversation, satirizing people who speak confidently about things they don't understand—a recurring social annoyance. **Middle section**: "A Few Theories of Our Own" humorously catalogs everyday frustrations (paper towels placed too high, raisins dropping, umbrella users blocking sidewalks). The satire mocks pseudo-intellectual attempts to explain mundane inconveniences through grand theories. **Bottom cartoon & poem**: The Professor character, presumably referencing Einstein's fame for complex physics, is humorously contrasted with an ordinary office worker who boasts about understanding a "banking balance sheet." The satire celebrates modest, practical competence over celebrated but incomprehensible genius—suggesting the average person's useful skills deserve equal recognition to Einstein's theoretical brilliance. Overall, the page satirizes both pretentiousness and the gap between intellectual celebrity and everyday value.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
D G JUDGE e a F Oe a ee ——~) Met so FAST MRIBTHRO BUDLONG! INTERRUPIED A STEADY YOUNG VCICE Spring this at your Saturday night binge and you'll have the “Hey, banana!” yelled the counterman in a “Gchere’s that paper plate I gave you blushed the consumer, “I thought it room to yourself, customer, Hey, Machamer, why don't you draw some with your pie?” was the lower crust!” thing about how hard it is to think of @ Christmas card idea? | sviled-spoon to a A Few Theories of Our Own Paper towels are placed two feet h than necessary for the ex- making r always her press purpose of the water run down ye sleeve when you reach’ for them, You can’t eat a handful of dried without dropping at least one on the floor. Nobody ever drank from a public drinking fountain without getting much raisins times as rr on his face as down his throat. | The people who use | umbrellas on Broadway are directly in le with the Associate Glass Eye Manufae turers, You will always get off two blocks beyond your destination if you ride on the top of a Fifth Avenue Bus. Lawsox Pavyrre mind on this Einstein Give This Little Boy a Hand! I'm not up on hydrostatics or on Higher Mathematies. 1 don’t understand such sciences sublime, I possess no comprehension of the fourth or fifth dimension, © my check book bal- very time! Other minds may be omniscient: I'm a little bit deticient; I'm the plodding type who slowly muddles throug But I've found the way arry Mabel, William, doand Harry In a roadster that was built to carry two! In his silent lab'ratory Dr. Finstein earns his glory, And the hymns of praise he hears are very sweet. But I claim some praise is due me and I hereby hand it to me— I can understand a banking bal- ance sheet! Dr. Einstein may be gifted, but it’s time acclaim was shifted To the undersigned, the humblest clerk of clerks. I've devised a Household Budget— » you judge it wait a moment e I've devised a splendid Budget and it works! —Antien L. Liveaans Professor: (Taking his little bey fr a walk) “I wish those kids Weuld stop yelling, I can scarcely keep my ‘heory.