Judge — January 5, 1929 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Spare the Rod and Spoil the | Eagle | (Continued from page 8) brook, and Aiken, were eating les furiously. | And then, just like a melody | from out of the sky or a woman disputed or marri or somethi: Titmarsh, the S: » by contract ig came Barclay ather of 1 Titmarsh, “Why eat the nt bird? Why not | beat hin Immediately licenses were taken out, ex suits were hurriedly ordere Abernethy and Itch, and gra- cious hostesses the country over | were flailing away at their ed A demand sp beating. ves. | up for pocket fails and sprang down again. American Eagle Common went up thirty points and on the Curb tight-lipped traders unloaded Backgammon as the panic spread. And in faraway Sequestria, a tiny kingdom nestling in’ the Balkans, a gray-bearded tinware salesman named Wilder was knocking on the door of Mrs. Curry’s apartment. In his pocket was the manuscript of “The Story of Philosophy” and on his head was a Hershey bar. So there, my little furry friends, let me leave you. As you suspect, all the trolls and gnomes appeared in full force at the wedding of Irving Dembitz to the Queen of the Woodpeckers, and they stuffed themselves with barley Zoop till their itsy-bitsy eyes “most popped out. And if | you ever break a leg just call up the undersigned any time of the day or night and he will be glad to shoot you. No trouble at all, | that’s what we're here for. —Prretman The reason why some married men never know when they well off is because they nev —Evervaopy'’s Wer ire re. The Wife—What did you ever do that benefited any fellow-man? Her Hushand—1 married you. —ANswens SCOTCH (-.- Gaan$!_ | | FEWER LICORICE GOOD- | WILL WANTON QUARTO | SCOTCH FORTNIGHT EMBARRASSING MOMENTS | When you meet your prospective | In-Laws .. . for the first time be nonchalant... Light a Murad, © P. Loriflard Co., Eat, 1760 They taste just like they did 20 years ago “It's ‘ard, Bill, us a-working ere while all them folks is en- joying theirselves.”” —Lonxpon Catiine comicbooks.com