Judge — January 5, 1929 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JU DGE VAG To a doctor for an examination of what I lightly refer to as my physique. It took two hours. His re- port might be crowded into a six- foot shelf, aptly titled. “Coney Island and the Body—With Par ticular Stress on the Coasters and Their Construction and Structural Steel Work Rela tive to Iron in Lettuce and Its Giant HE Doctor Effect on the Human Tissu and Moon (The italies give a lovely slant to the letters—and if you push the letter “s,” the final letter in the title. to the left, all the ~- letters will fall ( Noo —Tovay ove Ges) that way like CDONT Pon aT BE tumbling domi noes.) ~ Physical ex tions the dand things. Fully 72% of it is a grand tickle fight between the pa tient and — the — doctor. When you stick out ation, all the witty h-eah!—Are you mad at your tongue for its doctors always say— me?" And the stethoscope! When my doctor started going over me and listening in with one, it ac- tually was a revelation, With the little ear-phones clapped to his head and putting the finder here and there, every once ina while his face would brighten and he'd exelaim. > Breakers’ Orchestra in Palm Beach!" or “Well—well, Com- mander Byrd broadcasting the Antarctic weath- er report. He rs SUNIORS PHYSICAL NviliON t don't just point at them. as instructed to run around the room three times, hurdling a chair cach lap and “Ab-h-h-h-h! saying as I passed over the ch I did the first two laps swell, saying “Ah-h-h-h!" perfectly. On the third lap, zoodness me, the last foot over the chair missed a teeny-weeny TUNES IN_ON bit, and I fell into his instrument , changing the “Ah-h-h-h!” to “Dammitt!"" When I fell into the instru- ment tray, two instruments dis- ared — a clectric flood-light. I stomach red under an ex-ray and just quess where they found those in- struments! (Ow- ing to profes- sional secrecy, I'm not permit- to tell!) The doctor's report on my physical condition was long, volu- minous, cached with big words and charts showing just how the farmers can be benefited by Congres- sional action on the new Farm-Loan Bill provided action is taken by St. Valentine’s Day. Rube Goldberg contributed one of the charts, showing in detail how a mosquito, throwin, : its crutches after an attack of lumbago which lasted pretty nearly all winter, can be taught to roll a says it's cold!" or “HA! Pigay- Wigwy just socked Peter Rabbit on the snoot!” Then he'd ask me to touch my toes, stiff-legged, and when I at- tempted it, he snowflake up a ten-foot ladder. using his hind legs exclusivel And, mark = m that is non feat even for a mosquito has never had lumbago!! The doctor's who report, sum remake S: IN AN EFFORT 1 REHABILITATE HiMseLE, ume — "Cenmed (ie touch them, ENTERS THE Sik DAY S@SIER Races AT GuNTy Fae page 26) — comicbooks.com