Judge — November 3, 1928 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Here's a special release over the A. P. wire for all lie-a-beds. Mr. Grubnitz saw a burglar pottering around the sideboard in the dining-room of his Bronz estate. “Stop, thief!” he “Come back here! I want you! 'm at your service, sir!” punned the burglar, gathering up the Grubnitz silverware. A sob, a chuckle: that’s Life, men. shouted, LE || } | Sisten—What’s the trouble, Edgar? { “Beatrice turned me down cold and told me I could find sym- | pathy in the dictionary, but I’ve looked all through the C's and i it ain't there!” Via Wire It’s all very well for the tele- graph companies to furnish canned phrases for Valentine, Christmas, Easter and other joy- ys to be ordered by num- a new collar, a pair of shoes or a special 40¢ club break- fast. But these jolly old com- panies could go yet a step further nd de-bunk the telegram, result- ing in greatly increased business for themselves and winning many additional converts. As a sample of what I propose, I direct the attention of all forward-looking wire executives to the following mples, any of which they may cheerfully use, without making me a bit mad: FOR COLLEGE MEN. No. 1—Dear dad have bad cold uni- versity physician recommends heavier overcoat send sixty dol- lars thanks. No. 2—Need cight new text books pater deposit forty dollars to my credit grate- fully. No. 3—Just = married sweetest loveliest brightest dan diest girl in chorus of Follies and dollars for nest you'll love her thanks. 4—Unable convince dean he’s an old fogy and have reluc- tantly severed relations with col- lege please send railroad fare is old job in garage still open love and kisses. WEDDINGS. No. 1—Accept our heartiest sympathy better luck next time. No, 2—We're thinking of you today good Lord you need it! No. 3—Here’s to the blushing bride so fair so sweet petite so rich and rare it’s good that you're a millionaire or clse you would have got the TO RADIO STATIO No. 1—Purchase strong rope my expense and hang soprano who just rendered At Dawning. No. 2—Program coming in rotten hardly hear you everybody di lighted. No. 3—Please send rec- ipe for apple pie broadcast last Tuesday want to poison some of my neighbors. FOR SALESMEN. No. 1— No sales today business condi- tions poor account of low tides in Persian gulf send extra hun- dred for expense. No, 2—Local trade dead from neck up no new air! Seen veer erar comicbooks.com