Judge — April 1, 1899 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE GOLDEN AGE. A FEATHER BRAIN. A QUERULOUS QUATRAIN. OT WERE fine to live in Adam's day, E TICKLED his wife with a feather; LOvety was she on Easter day? But she laughed with pleasure at that, In my eyes she was not fair, For it was an ostrich feather For I paid five dollars on Saturday To wear o'er her Easter hat For the rose she didn't wear. When everything could please : Then Easter brought no bills to pay, For bonnets grew on trees EASTER EGGS HE young man whose best girl presents him with an Easter egg, hand-painted by herself, is apt to ask himself what in the world an egg has to do with Easter. He is apt to keep on asking, for it is very doubtful if he runs across any one who can tell him. The compilers of alma- nacs tell us that the egg is an “emblem of the resurrec- tion.” ‘There may be a good deal of truth in this, provid- ing the egg has been stored away by the farmer all Lent and then sprung on the inno- cent boarder for bis Easter breakfast; for if the chick in- side isn’t ready for resurrec- tion after forty days and forty SECOND cHICKEN—" Hub! that's nothing. nights he can't be much of a chick, anyhow, But to ask a man to worship the egg at Easter after his wife has been serving them up three times a day during Lent seems to come mighty near to crowding the mourners. Easter eggs, however, are to be found the world over. It is said the Hindus believe that their god Brahma every once in a while enters the egg. This probably induces the Brahma hen you paid a fancy price for to lay an occasional egg. Brahma does this trick for the salvation of the world, but what an April fool he must consider himself whenever the boarding-house mistress gets hold of him, The Russians and the Mohammedans give paschal eggs at Easter, but in this country eggs are given only to the barn-storming actor. This is a charitable act, worthy of Easter, as Mr. Hamlet has no money to pay for them. In France the Easter eggs are boiled hard, painted different colors, and sold in the streets. The hard boil- ing is probably done to make them keep, because it would be a cold day for the poor FAMILY TREES peddler if any resurrection First cHickeN—" Me father came from Shanghai.” business took place in his Me mother was an oil-stove from Paris.” basket. THE ONLY ONE. Ars, McLubberty—* Phwat d’ yez mane by lavin’ me overhear yez shpakin’ to Duffy about me as‘ thot owld shcoldin’ catamaran, Mrs. Mac’?” McLubberty— Oi did not. Oi was referrin’, not to yez, me jewel, but to Mrs. McShaughnessy, nixt dure.” Mrs, McLubberty—" Don't add loyin’ to yure ither insults. Ye well know thot Oi am the only owld shcoldin’ catamaran in this block."* JAMES JAY O'CONNELL, HOW IT HAPPENED. Rusens—‘*I shust heard your head book-keeper telling der udder book- keepers dot you vas der meanest old hog in der vorid unt only paid him ten dollars a veek.”” Cowzn—"' Yes. I pay him an additional salary for telling der udder book-keepers dot he gets only ten doliars a veek.” comicbooks.com