Judge — April 1, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Photo. by Falk. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ROSE COGHLAN, Sweet-voiced Rose! you I remember In many a mask, in many a play. In roles that range {rom dark December To joyousness of flowery May. Truly, comédienne, ‘tis pleasant To know you're at your best—at present. THE REMEDY. DORIS had thoughtfully compared her own litle wart-covered hands and the lumpy skins of some crook-neck squashes. Finally she sighed, * If those squashes are ever going to be fit to be seen, mamma, you'll have to put on some of my lotion.” THEY ARE PLENTIFUL, Askins —* What do you think of Poots ?” Grimshaw —* He is one of those fellows who take the cork out of a bottle by pushing it in.” AT EASTER. HE music. the flowers, the palms ard the crowd Well-groomed and perfumed are with youth re- endowed, And even the cusbions that cumber my pew In old-year magenta look cozily new. The saints, though in glazier-set bounds sternly shut, ‘Are splendid with smiles, And the sun in the aisles Lifts ev'ry heart out of its work-a-day rut. And Milly, my neighbor austere, does she share This general respite from winter and care? Is Aer heart upraised, being newly unpent From the uominal gyves of a nominal Lent? Um—well—yes, perhaps! and it's still hardly that, For though lifted out Of the groove, I misdoubt Milly’s heart 's gone no further aloft than her hat. ROWAKD W. BARNARD. A LESSON IN DEFINITIONS. Teacher —* What is a buttress ?* Flossy—"“A buttress is a female butter-maker.” A NOTICEABLE DEFECT. THE face of Bennie's new governess was very much freckled. To mamma's inquiry as to how he liked his new teacher he replied, * Very well, mamma—all but the mildew on her face.” SEEING IS BELIEVING, Weary —“You are not usin’ me right in dividin’ up w'ot food yer corral.” Wobbles —" Is it possible dat you doubt me. pard 2" Weary —"1 must; de tell-tale pie-crumbs in yer wiiskers is conclusive everdence ov igno- minious secretion of dat dainty.” A GOOD JOKE. N IOWA editor sent out the April first edition of his paper unprinted. It made a hit. His subscribers have petitioned him to do so regularly. STARS AND STRIPES, WI AW XLS < WS TOUGH. The spring lamb now is You hear its tender bleat ; But how changed you will find it When you've ordered it to eat. HER COMPARISON. MAB8GIE's foot had fallen asleep. “Oh, mamma!” she exclaimed ; “it feels just like a pincushion that's alive.’ Fins Livtix cirt—"' My father was fighting for three years. He carried the stars and stripes, and he’s got the flag yet.” SECOND LITTLE GinL—"* My father was in for fighting for six years, and he carries stripes yet. He's got a striped suit now.” comicbooks.com