Judge — April 1, 1899 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SWEET CONTENT. «+ THE THOUGHT STRUCK HIM. NOW let the world wag as it will— My darter Jans is spliced at last ; She wed young Tom Jinks yestidday. And has him hard and fast. I don't care one ding what we do With islands far away— “ They. kin expand, or kin contract, Fer all I've got to say. The “circulating-mejam” kin Be greenbacks, gold or mud; Free trade or not ‘s alike to me— Don't bother me! Good Lud! Young Jinks is collared hard and fast And darter Jane is spliced at last A SURE INVIGORANT Dobson —* What a fine fellow Mrs: Hobson's boy is to work. Just sce him beat that carpet! He goes 1 Mrs. CrorizicH—* What on airth airye goin’ tew do with the fishia’- pole, Abner ?” ‘AuNex —* Wa.al, the last time I wuz in, taown the thought struck me Mrs, Dobson —“Yes; his mother always has him reading dime thet if them ‘ere trolley-cars kin put a pole up:agin that ‘ere wire an’ go like wi gis sixty, there is no reason why it won t work on an ordinary wagon “ novels for a couple of days before the time to beat the carpets. m oe 2. Aner (after the experiment)—"" It done it, b'gosh! but I hedn't no idee thet it would start so gol-darned sudden.” MISCONSTRUED. Sa THE ORIGINAL DISCOVERERS. ~ Crier Guy (of the order of The Golden Sock)—"* Have they given you * STHAT war ‘iiestigation.”’said the great grandee, “ seems to have the grip yet?" caused cépsiderable excitement in the United States.” * War investigation >" inquired the haughty hidalgo ; “* what was it for?" ues “Why, the Americans claimed that the war was not conducted as it should have been.” “Pshaw! We observed that fact last summer. feat Scott ! have T got to take that too?” PREPARATION AND. how has she spent This season of Lent, Since her social functions released her? With an earnest intent time a!l went a brave suit for Easter. ECHO FROM BOSTON Minerva (talking to her doll) —" You'll never say bad writing, like cousin Beth did, will you, dollie? You'll say just what mamma has taught you and not be so extremely commonplace. ‘ ‘ It’s ever so much more eupho- ae SASCHESTERFIELDIAN MARVEL” nious and sublime to declare that KAYED FEETER —-"* Weary is de prince of flatterers. vate ; ‘ToRN Touser —“* W'ot makes yer t'ink so?” _ one's hieroglyphical symbols are Fraven Freter —"* He's de only ‘hobo’ I know dat can git pie out uv a woman on wash-day.” positively execrable.” comicbooks.com