Judge — March 25, 1899 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COMING IN SEASON, Go fetch your last year's safety out; Clean and pump your tire. And the man who makes the longest run = Will be the biggest liar. “AN ELEPHANT ON HIS HANDS.” HAS THE CLUB-WOMAN NO HUMOR? A RESEMBLANCE IMPLIED. HE household economic club announced that a lecture would be given on milk and cream, but for some good reason it was deferred and announced for a later date—in fact, it was postponed several times, until an exasperated mem- ber of the club arose and said, “Tmove that we have the lect- ure on milk and cream at once; otherwise it will, by natural proc- ess of time, be changed to butter and cheese.” HE AND SHE. TZLEGRAMS without wires? Why, we've sent them for ages By the sparks from love's fires ; Telegrams without wires Se MAMMA.” said. Margie. gravely contemplating the family cow. ‘ bossy has some burrs in her switch.” Ever since we wore tiers: So we laugh at the sages, Telegrams without wires ? Why, we've sent them for ages. ELEN CHAUNCEY. THE LATEST PROOF. Cobwigger—" God is good to the Irish.” O'Houlihan —"'Thot's so. Oi hear th’ blizzard kilt th’ or- HE GOTA DIFFERENT KIND. ange crop, but divil th’ bit did it Jnoty—" Mrs, Murphy, me mudder wants a pound uv cs do to th’ shamrocks.”” your best-—— — butter.’ “MOSES,” THE MANIKIN. Y A strange metamorphosis “* Moses" hath a curved proboscis; yet, unless metempsychosis be a fraud, he has some sense. He eschews usurious charges, buys no stocks on slender marges, nor in de- vious words enlarges on the wares he represents. Unlike Isaacstein or Symons, * Moses sports no glaring diamonds; neither will he march to Hymen’s altar wealth to win or board, He is not a politician who insists on the condition that he get the best position at the table or the board. Since he owns no daily journal to create a din diurnal, he enjoys.a calm super- nal and preserves a placid mood. Selling not his service dearly, he dis- charges it sincerely; for the fact is he is merely a cigar-store sign—of wood. caorce moss. AND AT THEIR AGE, TOO, A PERT Bov—"' Say, Nelly, shake de two gals an’ come down ter Flaherty’s cellar. De boys has hooked a barrel uv beer WENT, QUERY. an’ tomato-cans enuff ter go round; an’ we's got a dago organ-grinder dere, an’ he's so drunk dat he’s a-turnin’ de ** FAKERBY committed suicide.” organ-handle de wrong way, an’ de boys is a-dancin’ ter waltzes w'ot's bein’ played backwards.” “ Christian science or poison?” comicbooks.com