Judge — January 1939 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Can T help you?" What's going on here, anyway? I duck into a de- partment store out of the wintry weather and a sweet young thing wants to help me. Looks like a nice girl, too, though T never met her before. 1 think I've met her brother, He works at a cut-price tobacco counter and morning to sell me something spe- cial in safety-ri If T bought salety-razor blades every time Tim bacco. stand shingle the roof. But the poor chap can't help it. the store, and if he doesn't try to sell me ravor blades he'll be toyscd out on his car into the cold world But he knows, just the same, that y and the fore to sell me razor blades and T didn’t want any. tries every or blades, asked to at a to- Fd have cnough to There's a spotter in he tried yesterd be: 1 still don't want nL help you?” Well, lady, it’s nice you should want to help me. [caine away from home with only half a breakfast this morning and you could help me to a slice of toast and a cup of collec. Tdon't wonder you want to help me, because this is my time of ye to look lost, strayed, and helpless. Hye got spots in front of iy eyes and fortysix cents with which to i Ive do my Christmas. shop; made out a long Christ And Tye just over in a revolving door by a bat talion of amazons. with shopy bags. Help me to an easy chair and call back for me in a couple of hours, when my fect stop hurting. Only three m fore Christ Jost. it. heen run re shoppi as and T have to pick a time like this to raise a crop of corns. “Can T help you?” 1s dlayy be: The men are can I help you? BY DON ROSE doing it, too. 1 must look like a lad who can’t select his own shirts without the assist- ance of a professional shirt- picker. I'll stand in front of a mirror tonight and practice looking like a man who knows what he wants and doesn’t need help to find it. But maybe the salesman thinks I’m. blind or badly aippled. He wants to help me across the aisle to the shirt counter, like a Boy Scout do- ing his good! decd for the day. 1 Could’ fool him by asking to be helped to an electric re- frigerator, or a package of tin tacks, But there’s no need to hurt his helpful fecli thanks, my Fim just looking around. ‘Too bad, but 1 did hurt his feclings. His face fell six inches. Maybe 1 should in- vite him to help me do my looking around. We could hunt i nd low for a pink: and-green shirt, size 15, with thirty-six-inch sleeves and have a lot of fun together. "Can T help: you? inly: can, Lady, You Gn ind those two Christ- ht for the Jast Summer and hid away some- where so they wouldn't find them. And now FE can’t find them. I've looked everywhere and found a nest of mice in the bottom bureau drawer and last: year’s Chrisum, cud from Aunt Ellic. Remind me to be sure to send Aunt Ellie a ten- cent Christmas card this year. Can T help ye Well, my lad, [was just wondering whether somebody would help me. Just be- help me mas gilts Tb girly at a bargain sale 'm sorry, dear, that's still the wrong connection.” “You said he was @ squirrel dog. Where's the squirrel?" tween ounelves, F want to buy a new pair of would one strings? Td thought of brown. shoestrings, but perhaps black would be better. Theshoesareblack, but [ could buy a pair of brown shoes to go with the she strings. I'd like something cheap in it. Whose ide who needs a guide to get him- self’ a pair of shoc- stringy? nthelpyou?” miss, Well. about me helping you for a change? You take a seat somewhere and I'll stand here trying to help people, whether they want it or not. What happens if you of- how shoestrings. about buying shoc- And do you happen to know what the well-dressed man is wearing in shoestri shoestrings, but of good quality. Well, you needn't get nasty about was it that Tne help to buy a pair of shocstrings? Do I look like a paralytic or para- How you up or this y rinkside reverie Just why does hockey make o hit, Or rate so high a price, When from the very start of it, They put the game on ice? ALG, your pack pick outa mother-in cded our town The tempo is simply terrific On Manhattan Isle, | am told, But that never the native Too busy to watch A steamshovel digging a hole. The world may be splitting asunder, The stock market crash with a whaml But when there's a steamshovel Digging a hole Tho citizens don't give two cents. GTR. comicbooks.com Can [help you, ma'am? cs, blow the baby's nose, Christmas card for your aw, or show you the w: to house-furnishings and glassware? THE JUDGE FOR JANUARY fer to help somebody and they take Well, I suppose you wouldn't know. “Can [help you? is just a sort of gr may shoppers, like ing,” or “It looks like rain,” or 0 Christ- morn: “How your old And while you're sitting there you can wipe that smile off and rest your face. And slip off your shocs, if the floorwalker isn’t looking. Carry Wel Id , don't: say n't ask you. Never much of a sinner, but a good dancer, Miss Wa lewski ve of Lodz, Poland. Flint (Mich.) Journal The Journalis in crror. Miss Wasilewski has a lovely _ soprano vice.