Judge — January 1939 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CONFIDENTIAL letier FROM A SPY Queen Wilhelmina Holland Europe Dear Queen your majesty: Lately I have been reading in the sheets about how practically every country on your side has a batch of spies in circulation—good interna- tional spies with three changes of whiskers, a glass eye, assorted dark glasses invisible ink red vigs a book of rules and all the necessities. Re- cently there was a gent in these parts who soon nabbed himself too late not to be a main fea- ture ina neat little spy trial who says he wrote and said to H-t-ker I want to be a spy how about it and by almost the next postage al- lowed out of G-ray he receives a small volume which covers all the angles on sticking noses elsewhere where Der Furor wanted and also some spots where he didnt but which also guar- anteed to make him a high class operator in quick time. He just chuckled about the whole thing though maybe because he figured. h nuldnt get: thrapped by the gendarmes like iki most surely happen if he was at home in which case he would no longer be operat- high class society but would be so waxed 1 his own home town wouldnt distin: guish him from some item that crawled out from under a stone. Anyway my friends and some that arent tell me [am quite a clever character and afeter investigating several offers 1 decide that maybe Holland is the place for me to rep: sent on account of you having no spies of a1 tion to tell you what people are doing at goes on by other outfits and other high priced operatives if you care. T have sorted chums in my stable who are agreeable to kick in with me in return for which T should carve them a slice of the gravy which will come from you but this is really no time for bringing currency into the conversation. I can obtain choice objects on what goes on here or anyplace not that it would do you any good but we figure that most any coun- try that amounts to any- thing in Europe ought to be in possession of a very fine group of spies who act as confidential operators. Being as how your set up has Germany on the easter side you grasp that it is far from childs play for you to be too cautious about what occurs and about what this stink bomb magnate is doing. [also gather that you go in for diamonds and listen guy like that sitting just off your veranda it just aint judicious for you to be leaving all that ice around loove because you shouldnt trust anybody when it comes to that sort of stuff be- cause I have known characters who wouldn't take the fly off a bowl of sugar without feeling badly who would commit some very strange things when they saw rocks of that nature in the open air. He probably isnt interested until he gets a nice opening but you sign up with me and my group and we guarantee you will have no trouble to speak of with suspicious lookers prowling about the premises and what is more you will know about current happenings in other localities where different characters work. Anyway you really got to have some interna- tional spies on your payroll or think what peo- “So—a fortune-hunter!" ple will start to say and that isnt so good when operators get to talking and the suspicion gets out that Holland has no spies and then where will you be. With all those dykes and that water running around so careless you got to be positive of what goes on and I operate in any country but let me know a little ahead of time just to be on the sure side. Some guys are small enough to do anything and crawling through a dyke wouldnt slow up the one I am thinking about for a minute before you could get out the word arbritration your country would be ready for the showers without waiting for alterations to be made. If this doesnt work 1 know rat poison that will definitely put the slug on any character whatsoever and you know who I mean. Yours very truly Fritz Abvaham Pierre Cholmondely Patrick Al- fonso Fumiyaki Goober International Spy PETER MURPHY TO COLUMBINE “Dear lady, since you first came in the room “My eyes have never left you. Pardon me, | beg of you, if | presume to be Too bold, and in this corner's pleasant gloom Let me explain. | swear | knew my doom Was sealed the moment you appeared. To see You now so close sets up a jubilee Of praise for all of you—clear from the plume That crowns your pretty head down to the heel Upon your silver foot... | humbly ask That you to me at midnight will reveal Your lovely face behind that awful mask." Her voice was cold and twice as hard os steel, “The mask does not come off,” she said. “It's reall" —LLOYD STONE. THE JUDGE FOR JANUARY comicbooks.com