Judge — December 1938 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the fact that frogs are approximately 20. times bigger than larval Peruvian newts. w larval Peruvian newts ever reach the adult stag vw SINCE YOU'RE ALL INTERESTED IN THE SMALL Business Man, we might ay well tell you about Walter of Mamaroneck, N. Y. Walter had a ma e@ shop and a bare liv- ing 20 years ago. But a friend of his got stuck with ap orchard and had to sell it at auction; id just to help him out, Walter bid in the ard for $40, Walter's wife thought he was bats. But the apples went with the orchard. ‘fom Skinner, another friend of Walter's, had a flower stand on the Boston Post Road, so he let Wal- ter sit there on Sundays (when his machine shop was closed), trying to sell his apples. He sold all the apples for $300. He closed his. machine shop, took his $260 profit, and opened a hot dog and apple stand. His is an unusual hot dog stand, because he only serves good hot dogs. Having split a halfa-million of them, he has developed a sixth sense for evaluating hot dogs. Walter says it takes pure beef to make a good hot dog. If a hot dog makes Walter think of us, back gocs the whole shipment to the wholesaler. Walter has cards and letters from all over the world, testifying to the fatal fascination of his franks. “Gee, we could use one of your franks in gay Pare,’ sone traveller. A other writes from the Belgian Congo. “The plenty of heat but no hot dogs here,” he sa “And do we miss yours! Walter's place today is worth $10,000. Walter stays on duty day and night, flanked by his wife and two sons. Now Mrs. Walter never mentions apple orchards any more. vw A SINISTER LITTLE STORY, RICH with occult implications, comes to our desk from Swarthmore, Pa. One Kenneth Reed put 24 gold. fish in a well on a golf-course, say. ing, “They'll eat up the mosqui toes.” He returned in a week. The goldfish were gone, but hundreds of mosquitoes were flying around the well. vw A MISS BERTHA PALMER, DIRECTOR) of Scientific “Temperance Instruc! tion of the Women's Christian Temperance Union, has just con, ducted a series of curious experi ments. She irrigated seeds with alcohol and found that they only sprouted half as high as normal seeds. (Mis Palmer said that milk would kill the seeds, but added that this was not relevant.) She showed a goldfish preserved) in alcohol. It had turned white. Now this is all very well, and Heaven knows we are not a drink- ing man. But we feel that Mis Palmer ought least to familiar. ize herself with our famous Water Experiments, renowned in scien- tific circles the world over. We poured a glass of water into] a bottle of ink. Not only did the resulting mixture spill all over ev: erything, but you could hardly write with it. We showered a cat with water and it scratched us. We immersed a six-months baby in water and it only grew half as large as a similar baby kept in air. A third baby, immersed in Mar- tinis, had to be thrown out before the conclusion of the experiment. Finally we filled our paternal grandfather's brandy glass with colored cr. He turned a dull mahogany color and exploded into 1,000 pieces. We hope t Miss Palmer will try to be more scientific in future, and pay some attention to our} famous Water Experiments. vw NEW DATA FOR OUR BOOK, “ONE MILLIO: Reasons for Not Living in C: come in. It concerns the Californian method of using the U. S. mails, as discovered by horrified Postmaster Pierce of Gridley, Calif.: he found a tiny kitten that had been! stuffed through the pack} age slot in the postoffice. It was sitting bewildered on the first-class mail, with a one-cent stamp affixed to) its head. vw MARSHAL NEY, THE BRAV- est of the brave, was scared} stiff of spiders. THE JUDGE FOR DECEMBER comicbooks.com