Judge — June 1938 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

to ige in Brazil, admitting, however, our con- tention that Buenos Janiero is in Ecua- dor. What tends to confuse the discus- sion is the fact that there is a Buenos Aires in Brazil, not the capital, but a small town near the Bolivian border; but Rio de Janiero is all alone in Argen. tina, and that at least ought to be clear to our blasphemous friend in Ohio. If our correspondents would only draw distinctions this whole inquiry would be easier to conduct. Some trifling inaccuracy may have crept into the foregoing account, but in the main it is a fair and definitive statement of the prevailing condition in South America, and if any more Ohioans undertake to quibble about it we shall be very angry indeed, Let that suffice. We seldom mention an ad- vertised product in these col- umns, because we are so incorruptible and chaste; but now the time has come. We urge you all to buy a Hush. Tone. If your naborhood dealer cannot supply you, communicate with the in- ventor, Harry K. Todd, of Tacoma, Wash. Mr. Todd’s Hush-Tone, which is just coming on the market, is the answer to radio. Hush-Tone is the answer to the network announcer, that new species of man, Homo Oilytongue. Hush-Tone is the answer to the dreadful songs and ballads which urge you to buy Blisterox to the tune of Onward, Christian Soldiers, or Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean. Hush-Tone is the an- swer to the whole relentless plea — box.tops, reasonable facsimiles, free semples, see your grocer at once if not sooner and buy, buy, buy; Hush.Tone is an ethereal gag, to choke the flow of persua- sion th.t oozes night and day from the throats of a thou- sand announcers. Hush.Tone is an inexpen- sive device for tuning out commercial announcements, and again we urge you all to buy one. Buy one now, while the supply holds out. See your Hush.Tone dealer today. June, 1938 In 1832, a Kansan named Eugene Bronthus decided to get revenge on the whole human race. He proceeded to beget 21 children. To date the descend- ants of Eugene Bronthus have been responsible for 70 murders, 49 rapes, 103 stock swindles, 642 unhappy mar- riages, 312 divorces, 1005 maladjusted children, and one South American revo. lution in which 5000 people were killed and tortured to death. Eugene Bronthus is lying in his grave, smugly smiling. It has been estimated that one hun- dred million years were required to carve out the Hudson River Palisades. This gives it all the earmarks of a Federal project. The cutest of all governmental bodies is the Commission appointed by Sweden to combat the declining birth rate. After a year's deliberation, this august council advanced a single specific proposal: to establish free lunch in the schools. Our Southern Ohio correspondent is back again with another one of his home town tales: “My friends,” said a member of this veracious reporter's church, addressing the Thursday night Sociable, “you know that our dear deacon will shortly be leaving us to take up new duties in Ken- tucky, and therefore I propose we take up a collection’ to give him a little mo. mentum.” “It’s THE UNCERTAINTY OF IT THAT GETS ME—HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW!” 21 comicbooks.com