Judge — June 1938 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE WAS DIFFERENT ONAS Bidwell was a rugged individualist. Jonas was afflicted with a mania for the unconventional, This mania presented itself in the form of slightly screwy research in which he was continually finding obsolete justi- fication for some eccentric line of conduct. While he was at college he discovered an ancient village regulation, dating from the days when the town’s main street was a cow path, which stated that cattle could be driven through the streets at any time. He promptly pur- chased two cows and at the busiest part of the day ap- peared with his bovine animals and drove them along the crowded thoroughfare. Despite the subsequent traffic tic- up, the chaos, and the near apoplexy of every cop in the vicinity he stood on his constitutional rights. The town fathers scurried to their legislative hall and quickly re- pealed the statute. His vacation in the country was enlivened considerably when he unearthed forgotten roads and rights-of-way that traveled through his neighbor's dining rooms and parlors. The banks next came in for their share of attention. He found that there was no law defining the forms checks must take. All his bills were paid by check and not a single check was on the conventional check blank. The bank was flooded with checks on the backs of greasy menus, “How you voTinG, Buppy?” checks on celluloid collars, and checks on tails of shirts. Then he really got into the swing of it. He issued a check on a tennis-ball, and a check written in tar on a barn door. Jonas spent many delicious hours contemplating the dif- ficulties entailed in getting that check through the clear- ing house. His activities ceased when the bank rude- ly stopped his account. *His downfall began when he undertook to devil the Post Office. He had the time of his life trying to get him. self special deliveried to all his friends. He lay around the parcel post window, cov- ered with stamps and marked “Fragile.” Twice he was arrested trying to air mail himself to different parts of the country. Suddenly he disappeared and hasn't been heard from since. The accepted theory is that he failed to place sufficient postage on him. self, that the addressee re- fused to pay the difference and the postal officials sent him to the dead letter office “IT SAYS: ‘THE FIRST BUTTON OPENED THE DAM, where, after three days, they AND THE SECOND ONE BLEW IT uP! WILL You destroyed him as perishable PLEASE PUSH ANOTHER BUTTON FOR FLOOD RELIEF?’ matter. LS. 19 comicbooks.com