Judge — May 1938 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

e Judge Almanac for May Sear Originated by Marc Connelly and George S. Kaufman 1st—Liniment sales jumped to new high after May Day parades, in which all parties demand freedom to suppress others? liber- ties, 1938. Hubert Lusk, of Rhinebeck, N.Y., decides be will wear last year’s straw this year, sag or no sag. Receives threaten- ing letter from Knox-Stetson, Inc., 1938. 2nd of Stonewall Jackson shot, 1863. First elevated train in New York; Mrs, Amos L. Blunt, 219 East 14th Street, first woman to adjust complexion in mirror of ‘chewing gum machine, 1878. ee 3rd—First medical school established in America, 1765. Mrs. M. L. Image, Chiswick, England, strangled at breakfast table by white mouse, thus accounting for woman's fear of rodents, 1782, Mayor LaGuardia. of New York issues annual attack on German Govern: ment, 1939, 4th—Haymarket riot, Chicago, 1886. Ordinary vegetable observed in window of delicatessen store, 1920. Sth—Death of Napoleon at St, Helena, 1821, Regular report that tomb of Marshall Ney has been found in Charlottesville, Va., Bal more, Md., and Hoboken, N.Y., issued, debated, and dropped, 1938. oh) First flight of heavier-than-air flying machine (Langley’s), 1896. Herbert L, Moist, inventor of silencer for street car and elevator whistlers, born, 1900. 7th—Columbia River discovered by Captain Gray, 1792; Lusitania torpedoed by some Siegfried in a U-Boat, 1915. Former U-Boat commander now a German clergyman endorsed in American pulpits, 1938. 8th—Battle of Palo Alto, 1846. Battle of Spottsylvania Court House, 1864. Hostess in Dodge City, Towa, remains perfectly calm when guest tips back on Chippendale chair, 1919. Lid of roll top desk slides down without sticking, 1948. 9%th—John Brown (of Ossawatomie) born, 1800. Sixteen theatre critics, failing to think of something new to. say about “Tobacco Road,” commit suicide by eating their own reviews, 1988. 10th—Ticonderoga captured, 1775. Record for number of side dishes in country hotel broken by McKinley House, St. Clair, Ohio, ‘dy introduction of individual containers for picealilli, gherkens, and chow chow, 1899. llth—Peter Stuyvesant arrives in| Nieuw Amsterdam, 1647, closely followed by the Duke of York. Thirty-four Park Avenue babies receive middle name of Stuyvesant in single day, 1938. “News Behind the News Magazines” magazine issued, 4,597 newsdealers go beserk, 1942, Lord Chatham died, 1778, 12th—First marriage in Plymouth Colony; possible children roposed for membership in Boston Sewing Circle, 1621. Marshall Fr Tapelle, of North Bedlam, Me,, found to be using Christmas gift pipe rack, 1903. 13th—Jamestown, first English settlement in America, founded 1607. Several members of colony complete “My American Impres- sions," 1608. U. S. declares war on Mexico, 1846. Woman re- moves hat in motion picture theatre after being asked only twice, 1937, Mothers’ Day. l4th—; Constitution meets, Anti-Sa- loon League representative ar- riving five minutes too late, 1787. Citizen of Flamboyant, N.J., discovered reading Mon: day” morning newspaper ac- counts of yesterday's sermons, 1913. Subway gompany first installs self-jerking brakes in all trains, 1915. 15th—Cape Cod discovered; Cod Liver Oil business incorporated for $100,000,000, 1602, "Talk of regular transoceanic airplane serv- ice still worth a yawn, 1945. New York Spring drizzle commences, 1938. 16th—Amelia O. Balderberry, West Lozenge, Ark., first woman convicted of first degree umbrellicide, having instantly killed Pliny L. Cuspley during a light dew: Judge ‘Andrew J- Gasket, congratulates I2-man jury for “this escape from Mediaevalism,” 1947, 17th—Money Order System established by Congress; all post offices ordered to put money order windows as far as possible from stamp windows, 1864. Expert accountant estimates that railroads annually waste’ $892.365 by printing ‘Not Good If Detached” on round trip tickets, 1919. 18th—International Peace Conference opens at The Hague Permanent Court of Arbitration established and nobody even smiles, 1899, President Wilson signs the Conscription Act, 1918. Entire day passes without new dentrifice being put on the market, 1921. 19th—Bowling discontinued on Bowling Green, New York City, owing to interference hy passing horse cars; busy Wall Street brokers think up slogan “Had a hard day at the office, dear” as substitate excuse for not going with wife to evening sociable at Ist Baptist Church, 1834. Selflosing trunk key finally perfected in Akron, Obio, 1893. 20th—Charles A, Lindbergh hops off from Mincola to Paris, 1927. Eighteen shipping magnates swear softly, 1927. | Absolutely unopen- able cellophane wrapper patented, 1946. "Man ‘at New York theatre box office asks if there aren't some better tickets and is told that, “Yes, we have two in the third row center for the same price,” 1929. 2lst—James Graham, 5th Marquess of Montrose, Scottish patriot, inged at Edinburgh, 1650; historians decide it was for confusi: too many historians, 1938. Train sandwich-vendor found offeri different variety than chicken, ham, or cheese, 1926. Piece of dairy lunch pie analyzed by chemist and found to contain 17% pie, 1930. 22nd—( Woman waiting for elevator, on ground floor of big office building, takes a long chance and does not ring for the elevator to stop; elevator starter faints, 1920. 23rd—Annual Brooklyn murder case begins; Tabloid newspapers explain they will not cover it, since it is like all the others, 1996, Abraham Ribble, Plattsburg, Minn., turns in car with cigar-lighter still functioning, 1937. 24th—The Savannah, first steamship to cross the Atlantic, sails for Liverpool, 1819, Samuel F, B. Morse sends first telesraph mes- sage from Baltimore to Washington, 1844. Brooklyn Bridge opened despite everything that New York can do about it, 1883. 2th—h, Ralph Waldo Emerson born, 1803. Man who gets wrong number on telephone does not insist on knowing which wrong number it is, 1912, 26th—Last Confederate Army surrenders; scenario writers begin work on movies in which Northern Lieutenant falls in love with proud Southern beauty, 1865. 27th—Cornelius Vanderbilt, founder of the Vanderbilt fortunes, born, 1794. Chambermaid in hotel in Templeton, Pa... shot by guest who discovers that top of sheet is three inches from the edge of the mattress, 1901. Magazine ad Mother tells daughter in comic strij that she can get her man even if she has dishpan hands, shhh breath, and pimples, 1971. 28th—Thomas Moore born, 1779. Harvey Sash, of Norwich, Conn., believes a “Wet Paint sign and passes by ‘unharmed, 1914. Patou introduces White Roller Skates for the bride’s ensemble, facilitating a quick get-a-way, 1938, 29th—; Wisconsin admitted to the Union; war averted with Ty, Sweden, 1848. Tailor admits he can't’ possibly fit customer, 30th—Memorial Day. Hall of Fame opened, 1901. New York iceman, when asked directions hy strange”, replies politely that t a be glad to help, 1935. Spring drizzle continues, 1900-1938 inclusive. 31st—Walt Whitman born, 1819. First photograph of man looking into fire- place, 1875. Johnstown flood, Seventeenth Amendment, being the one before the Ei adopted, 1913. June brides line up at tape for starting chords of Lohengrin. (Reprinted and revised by the Editors of THE JUDGE) comicbooks.com