Judge — May 1938 — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Dude’s Diary AM. 8:00—Woke. 8:05—Dozed. 8:24—Yawned. 8:25—Rose. 8:30—Dressed. 9:00—Breakfast. 10:00—Walked. 10:15—Talked. 11:00—Cigarette. 11:15—Sick. 11:17—Better. 11:19—Lemonade. E ie. 11:45—Dressed. sid axil d Bey im 12:30—Lunched. 3 ayy aot 2 go ZF} " OP 6:00—Dressed. y a ZF NS 3 se 7:00—Dined. 8:00—Talked. ; Le: J 9:30—Mashed. Bt ‘ i S 10:10—Proposed. 5A Ui, 10:1014—Rejected. Zp, Gj ty wy fy 10:23—Drank. Bi Tn 11:04—Drunk. yy Wy Vs LY I AM. “tected VU 1:00—Disrobed. (Forgot to). 1:00—Retired. POOR CASEY! 1:01—Slept. Mrs. DoLAN—"Does YURE HUSBAND SHTILL KISS YE MARN- IN’S BEFOOR GOIN’ TO WORK?” Mrs. Casey (JUST MARRIED) —"“HE DOES. IF HE DIDN'T HE'D BE IN NO CONDITION TO GO TO WURK.” PUT HI N a country church the curate had to give out two notices, the first of which was about baptisms, and the latter had to do with a new hymn-book. Owing to an accident he inverted the order, and gave out as follows: “Tam requested to give notice that the new hymn-book will be used for the first time in this church on Sunday next, and I am also requested to call attention to the delay which often takes place in bringing chil- dren to be baptized; they should be brought on the earliest day possible. This is particularly pressed on mothers who have young babies.” “And for the information of those who have none,” added the rector, in gentle, kindly tones, and who, being deaf, had not heard what kad been previously said, “for the information of those who have none I may state that, if wished, they can be obtained on application in the vestry immediately after service today. Limp ones, one shilling each; with stiff backs, two shillings.” New York—J. P. Morgan ate lemon pie for lunch. Wall street is in a panic. World securities collapse. Washington—As soon as it was learned that J. P. Morgan had caten lemon pie for lunch, the Cabinet met. There is no disposition to evade the crisis. The Secretary of the Treasury will anticipate as many “Do You KNOW WHAT HAPPENS quarterly interest payments as may be necessary to maintain confidence. TO LITTLE BOYS WHO SMOKE?” Chicago—Republican committee confers. “Yep. Dey Gits BOTHERED BY New York—J. P. Morgan recovers from lemon pie. Stocks soar. FOOL CRANKS.” Depression whipped. The Judge Album—1895-1900 comicbooks.com