Judge — May 1938 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“He Says He Wants To See It IN THe Dayticut.” Lullaby Mother, is your little boy Far from being a perfect joy? Is he sickly, small and stupid? Does he mock the aim of Cupid? Is he nasty, mean and vicious? Are his habits all pernicious? Is, in short, your little terror Something of a human error, A likely prospect for a berth In Alcatraz or Leavenworth? .. . Don’t lament and tear your hair But guard him with a tender care, Coddle him, obey his fancies And never spank his pantsy-wansies. Bless your little second-rater— He will make a swell dictator! —AusreY WALLACE. ITH the Japanese army of in- vasions badly cracked in several places, it becomes a nice and typical question among military strategists the world over whether what the Japs need is a few more men to chink up the cracks, a few less Chinks to crack up their men or a lot more men to crack up the Chinks. RCW. May, 1958 The Prodigal Son (Revised) CERTAIN Man had two Sons, and the Favorite said unto him, "Old Man, Have a Heart! Shell Out enough to Tide me Over the Next Year, for I have a Hunch that Prosperity is Just Around the Corner.” And when the Father had Floated a Loan in order to Fork Over, the Favorite Son straightaway blew in the Dough. And he Thumbed his Way back Home and said, “Gov- ernor, I hear you have Received a Mandate from the People. That Rugged Individualist, my Elder Brother, has a Fatted Calf. Let us Liquidate.”” And the Favorite Son Ate Heartily and threw the Cheaper Cuts to the Dogs. And when he had filled up the Cavity in his Physiognomy, he was still as Lank as a Snake. And he led the Father aside and whispered in his ear, “Governor, that old Tightwad, my Elder Brother, holds a Cow in Close Corporation. Let us Investigate.” And when they had resolved Themselves into a Committee of Investigation, the Elder Brother met them and said, “Father, I am still in the Red for the Calf you killed. Let me keep the Cow, sell Milk, buy Bread for my Children, Balance my Budget, and, in Due Time, make you a Present of another Fatted Calf.” But the Father rebuked him, saying, “Bub, you're just plain Nuts. Don’t you know yet that Old Bossy is an Un- distributed Profit and that the Balance must be Budgeted?” —AGNES IRENE SMITH. comicbooks.com