Judge, 1938-04 · page 7 of 52
Judge — April 1938 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# The Judge Almanac for April This page is primarily an **almanac listing historical events and notable births for each day of April**, rather than a satirical cartoon page. The decorative header features cherubs and classical imagery typical of Judge magazine's ornamental style. The entries mix genuine historical facts (Lincoln's assassination on the 14th, the San Francisco Earthquake of 1906) with **fictional or satirical items** specific to Judge's running gag: the "Anti-Church-Wedding League." This fictitious organization appears repeatedly throughout April—with headquarters raided, investigations launched, and various members' activities chronicled—creating an ongoing joke about opposition to church weddings that modern readers would need to understand Judge's 1918-era satirical context to fully appreciate.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
] ] j ECT eee ted is 1st—Screamingly Clever youth who tied string to. purse on April 1, 1898, celebrates for- tieth anniversary of event by paying $80 for a brace of tick- ets toa Broadway musical show 1938, + g Aaa A ae 2nd—Banker wins First Prize in Irish Sweepstakes, is_photo- graphed in bosom of family an- nouncing he will not visit Old Country and that his wife al- ready has a fur coat, 1968, srd—( Jewish Leader crucified at Calvary, suburb of Jeru- salem, for advocating dangerous revolutionary doctrine.” Gov- ernor Pilate reports to Home Office that agitation for brotherly love, simplicity, ete., will probably die out with death of so-called “Messiah,” 33 A.D. =J 4th—Hendrik Hudson discovers Hudson River, East Side set- tlers up to then having been too indifferent to cross Sth Avenue, 1609. Dayid C. Cripple, Worcester, Mass., walks a mile and a quarter for a Camel, 1934, Sth—New York Chamber of Commerce established; regular business men’s luncheons invented, 1768. Grace Dorblet, wile of Woodworth W. Dorblet, Ypsitant Mich., refuses new Spring hat, “because I like last year's better,” 2038. &th-C) Admiral Peary reaches North Pole; Dr. Cook's name not in guest book, 1909. Pole still pretty lonesome, 1938. L declares war against Germany to fight for Something Not Exactly Determined Yet, 1917. 7h—Wilbur H. Potts, Webster, Mass., forms initial chapter of American Anti-Church-Wedding League, under slogan: “Are We Grooms Or Are We Goons?” 1939, 8th—Duel between Henry Clay and John Randolph, Georgetown, Va.; Mayor of Georgetown starts probe, 1826. Dionne Quints go over Niagara Falls in barrel on way to Hollywood, 1945, ah-@® La Salle takes Possession of Louisiana; Herman J. Fingle appointed State superintendent of praline factories 1682. Lee surrenders to Grant at Appomattox; Margaret Mitchell starts work on new novel, 1865. Rumor abroad that actress is se- lected for Scarlett O'Hara role, 1948. 10th—Sixteen new posts of Anti-Church-Wedding League found- ed in single day; President Potts announces that “the end of this barbarism is at hand.” 1939, 11th—Representatives of 117 women’s organizations, meeting at Newport, R.I., form vigilante committees to combat the subversive Potts movement: are joined by United Florists, Caterers, and Silver- Plated Candy Dish Manufacturers Association, 1939, 12th—Henry Clay, famous pigeon-breeder, born, 1777. Boss Tweed dies in Ludlow Street Gaol, 1878; Frank Hague of Jersey City still at large 60 years later. Fort Sumter bombarded, 1861. 13th—Thomas Harper's efferson born, 1743. James Harper born, 1795; donlhly. Pe said when Bishop its first anecdote about what littl W—— came to tea, 1842. 14th—Lincoln assassinated, 1865; Titanic sinks, 1912; a bad day. 1Sth—Headquarters of Anti-Church-Wedding League raided by flying squadron of brides and maids-of-honor; Twelve men severely bitten, 1939. Scarlett O'Hara rumor unfounded, 1948, 16th—Slavery abolished in District of Columbia, 1862. Copy readers on Congressional Record laugh hysterically at the idea, 1958. Charles ‘*Let’s Pretend” Stuart defeated. at Culloden on Drumossie Moor, starting a fad, 1746, _—_— The Judge Almanac for April By Mare Connelly and George S. Kaufman john helajr 17th—' Easter Sunday; Gowns by Chanel, Floral Effects by Burbank, Fhotography by Times Wide World, A.S.C., Script by Hayes & Fosdick, etc.; Based on an Original Story in the Bible by four ‘eyewitnesses. Spirit of brotherly love spreads as Martin Luther is excommunicated, 1521. 18th—San Francisco Earthquake, 1906. Orville Tweel makes 117th movie based on it, 1956. Woman refolds newspaper in original creases, 1940, 19th— Patriots’ Day in Mass. and Me., in commemoration of Battles of Lexington and Concord; Return mail brings Paul Revere first batch of lecture invitations from D.A.R. 20th—Lilian Dosp, telephone operator, afterwards known as “White Sister Kate,” wins world’s trilling record by taking one and three-quarters minutes to pronounce the word “three,” 1938, 21st—Congress votes investigation of the Anti-Church-Wedding League, at instigation of aroused American womanhood; N.Y. Junior League pickets Elkton, Md., and Harrison, N. President Wilbur Potts of League terms opposition: “ringers.”” 22nd—3 Lady fingers invented by wife of Lord Cecil Finger, 1871. Report that man bought hat in Fifth Avenue shop with- out being introduced to salesman by floorwalker denied, 1929, 23rd—Shakespeare dies; blow almost kills Francis Bacon, James K. Hackett, and George Lyman Kittredge, 1616. Stephen A. Douglas born, 1813. 24th—Boston News Letter, first permanent American newspaper, published for the first time; Katzenjammer Kids appear in it, 1704, “rench cabinet resigns, 1871-1938, incl. 25th— U.S. declares war on Spain, 1898. War loan of $200,000,000 to Great Britain made in 1917. Merriam-Web- ster, Inc., issues revised definition of the word “loan,” 1939, 26th—Jamestown E: po ition opens; Coney Island yawns slightly, 1907. Ordway McBisco, retired painter of Bock Beer signs, dies, leaving fortune of over a million, 1931. 27th—Samuel F. Morse, inventor of the telegraph, born; Mes- sage No. 18, Best wishes on this happy day from us all,” gets ready to be written, 1791. 28th—James Monroe, fifth President, born, 1758. New York man walks under a ladder and receives letter telling him his aunt has died leaving him a Tennessee utility company, 1938. 2%h—[] -Eulalie M. Teep, fiancee of President Wilbur Potts of the Anti-Church-Wedding League, states that either he must resign or she marries Herman Plastick. Entire movement col- lapses with approach of June, 1939. 30th—Louisiana_ Purchase, 1803. Walpurgis Night celebrated by 17 die-hards, 1938, Spring Crime wave hits New York, 1938. Summer heat turned on’in_tele- Rhone booths, 1900-1938. “Pathe jews photographer goes crazy trying to decide which Maypole dance he'll photograph tomor- row. If April comes, can MAY be far behind? comicbooks.com