Judge — April 1938 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COMING DOWN THE HUDSON CASHLEY (ON HIS BRIDAL TOUR)—"YOU'VE NO IDEA, DARLING, OF THE QUICK-WITTEDNESS OF OUR LOWER CLASSES. I'LL SPEAK TO THAT BARGE-MAN, AND YOU SEE IF HIS REPLY ISN’T PAT. Hi THERE! WHERE'RE YOU BOUND?” CaANAL-BoaT CAPTAIN: TO YOUR CAGE, YOU LONG-NOSED, LOP-EARED GALOOT! YAH!" HERE is a story told of the eco- The Nyzam of Hyderabad paid seven JA nomical qualities of two well-known thousand rupees to a Madrid dentist for and wealthy gentlemen living in this a set of false teeth, and lost them the “TO SHEOL, YOU IDIOTIC, BRAINLESS, CAMEL-BACKED DUDE! GO BACK OW do you like your new type. writer?” inquired the agent. “It’s immense!” was the enthusiastic city. On a certain night, one of these first time he attempted to swear at the response. “I wonder how I ever got gentlemen called on the other to trans- cook down the elevator shaft. He has along without it!” act a little business at the latter's resi- now become a Christian. dence. The host lighted a candle that they might ex- amine some papers, but im- mediately blew it out again when they were through, leaving them both sitting in the dark. “Why?” asked the caller. “Oh, we can talk in the dark as well as in the light, and it saves the can- dle,” was the reply. They continued their conversation for a short time, when the host heard some mysterious sounds coming from the direction of the caller's chair, and inquired what his friend was doing. “Why,” was the reply, “it's dark in here and no one can see me, so I thought I would take off my trousers to save the wear on them.” sae 32 WISDOM De YouNG—''STUPID LOOKING CHAP, ISN'T HE?” De SMitH—"'HE MARRIED HER MILLIONS.” De YouNG—"BRAINY LOOKING CHAP, ISN’T HE?” “Well, would you mind giving mea little testimonial to that effect?” “Certainly not; do it gladly.” So he rolled up his sleeves and in an incredibly short time pounded out this: “after Using thee auto- matig Back-action _atype writ, er for thre emonth$ an d Over. I unhesitatting- || gly pronounce it prono nce it to be al ad even more than th e Manufacturs claim? for it. During the time been in our posessio n e. i, th ree monthz! id has nore th an than paid paid for it$elf in the Saveing oF |) time an d labrr? I artelly rec a mend this mash in : to * any 1 hoo needs a class y typ3 writ(er)$” john L. Snith. The Judge Album—189! | comicbooks.com