Judge — March 1938 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ne na): <a «AS _ Street, she decided the right Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! All persons having business before this court UR Mr. Walton, in Kenmore, N.Y., writes to remind us that 2 Harvard student disappeared recently, and that they found him ten days later, wandering in a daze in Washington, DC. “In any other city of these United States," Mr. Walton points out, “his condition would have caused comment at least a week earlier.” see We have a new man in charge of Washington and Oregon. Herewith we present his introductory report, which you can either like, or lump. That was the choice that confronted us. He says that the Russian colony in Seattle has more clubs and organizations than the population justifies, the latest being the “Ex-Employces of the Chinese Eastern Railway Whose Pensions Were Cancelled When the Road Was Sold to Japan.” He says there is a Yamhill Street in Portland, Ore. He says that when the erudite Miss Stina Anderson arrived from Sweden, and heard her friends refer to Yamhill name must be Jamhill Street, and that is what’ she calls it. Finally, he says that in Ore- gon’s new Capitol at Salem, there is a bathtub for the sec- tetary of state and one for the state treasurer, but none for Governor Martin. However, the Governor has an elevator which takes him down to the Wilamette River. will draw near and give their attention. A New York radio editor, reading an unsolicited script, came upon the follow. ing direction: “soUND: MAN ENTERS DOOR CARRYING A CAKE.” This month more facts have been left on our desk; see what you make of them: An old vaudeville trouper named Fred La Reine kept time on his har. monica while the surgeons sawed off his leg. In India someone is killed by a snake every seven minutes. A bee has to fly 40,000 miles to col- lect one pound of honey. Joseph Miraglia, of Lyndhurst, N.J., having been convicted of stealing radi- ator caps, was sentenced to attend the Sacred Heart Roman Catholic Church every Sunday for a month. T. R. Thompson, coroner at Black- burn, England, has just received a cer- tificate notifying him that he has been cremated. Hens that eat peas lay eggs with green yolks. When a Pekingese was run over in Buffalo, an unidentified fox terrier came and stood guard over him, snarling at oncoming cars. Hugo Zander, 85, stole Christmas cards from a mailbox and explained to the G-men that “I just wanted to show people I was having Christmas, too.” Bulls and cows are devoid of front upper teeth, Penguins incubate their eggs on top of their feet. Our more idealistic readers will be shocked to learn that a Hudson Seal is not a seal, and does not live on or near the Hudson; that the White Ant is not white, and is not an ant; and that the Sea Pen cannot write. wee An unwise couple in the Bronx recently decided to celebrate their betrothal and the bride's mother's birthday with one party and one large cake, smothered in whipped cream and bedecked with 46 red candles. The bride’s brother Hymie, having been chosen to light the candles, got as far as the twenty-sixth. Later he ex- plained, through a coating of whipped cream, that he guessed that candle was a fire- cracker.