Judge — February 1938 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

By Charles B. Driscoll EARS should start off on high, with a gay, go-get-’em noise, like Puitip Sousa’s marches. Especially Stars and Stripes Forever . . . but the cue was wrong, or something, and this one went down the ways to the sound of confused choruses, much knocking on wood, and some raucous band in the distance playing the Dead March from Saul. . . . I don’t agree with those who talk of a threat of war hanging like a blazing nightgown over the nation. Un- pleasant incidents, yes, but it takes more than those to threaten war in this coun- try, where 1917 isn’t forgotten and the debts are unpaid. . . . I think happy days and nights are still on tap, with lots of them coming down the chute in 1938. . . . Dr. NorMAN JouiFFE finds that vitamin B, added to liquor, pre- vents the worst hangovers, and there's stimulating optimism in that announce- ment ... and ToMMY MANVILLE, if properly covered by the city desks, will be sure to make the next few months merry, whether Dr. Jouirre is right or wrong. . . ..I deplore the tendency of our press to drop a good thing when- ever it sees the shadow of another bone. ... FaTHER Divine is good for months of gaiety yet. . . . A good re- porter ought to be able to stave off a recession for twenty-four hours by get- ting an interview with TALKING SMED- Ley BuTLer, who hasn't told all in public. . . . Just listening to the Gen- eral’s tales would kid us out of any seri- ous apprehension. . . . On the other hand, I can easily understand how one February, 1938 might sink into lethargy and insolvency, listening to that other Butter, Dr. Nicuotas Murray, who ought never to take off his cap and gown, night or day... . 1 had a pleasant luncheon with Georce M. Conan and his friend Dennis O'BRIEN, both rare gentlemen who win friends and influence people without any formulae or hokum... and again with MCCLELLAND BarCLAy, illustrator, who is making a name as a portraitist and knows more beautiful women than any other man. . . . Bar- CLAY is serious, nervous, but JAMES MONTGOMERY FLAaGc is always jestful, and does some of his best caricatures over two highballs. . . . For conversa- tion with a lash to it, give me LEON Gorpon, the painter . . . he walks out on anybody who bores him, and thus conserves years of precious time, which he tosses away graciously among people he likes. Much to be said for that system. FRANK KELLOGG and NeEwToN Baker went over the divide together, almost. I knew them both, as a reporter knows dignitaries with bulging shirt- fronts, and thought them about equally over-rated. . . . Poor, insane Ep REIL- Ly, who let his client, HAUPTMANN, go to the chair for a murder he probably never committed, has finally been locked up in an institution, under physical re- straint. That trial was as much of a burlesque on orderly justice as was the monkey trial in which WILLIAM JEN- NINGS BRYAN cavorted . . . and what ever became of JaFsiz? ... as for BLAck, he goes right on sitting on the Supreme Court, just as though he had never learned to pull a nightshirt on over his head. . . . Justice, brothers and sisters, is the quality most foreign to man in his present primitive condi- tion. . . . I have been reading reports from the Chinese war front written in the Lowell Sun by DAN CouGHuIn, a war correspondent who ought to be heard coast-to-coast when he returns— if he returns, He sits on a veranda and scribbles his piece while the shells fall around him, and he counts the dead and dying for you as the Japs advance across the canal and yards in front of him. . . . But war correspondents are not hit- proof, and it was sad to have Ep New, A.P. reporter, wiped out by a shell. eee We don't hear so much about priming the pump any more; I wonder. . . perhaps the Mighty Men who wasted so much language and money on pump- priming never actually primed a pump. . . . When I was a boy in Kansas, we had a pitcher pump in the back yard, one down in the cattle corral, and a force pump attached to a rickety wind- mill. They all *had to be primed before they'd produce, and we kids were taught never to waste water in the priming, simply because it was sinful to waste anything. One baking-powder can full of water was adjudged sufficient for the pitcher pump, and if you used more you had to run away off somewhere to get it. . .. I fear the Mighty Men splashed several barrels of priming fluid over the landscape, and then let the pump run down while in the act of priming it. . . . While statesmen brawled in Wash. ington over jobs and pork, the Samoan Clipper opened the airline from U. S. to New Zealand and another new serv- (Page 47, please) comicbooks.com