Judge — February 1938 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIGH HAT HIS department which, as you know, is on the inside track, brings you a tale of the New York garment district, a spot where thousands of busy little men in pearl grey hats and chester- field coats spend all their time selling each other phony silver fox pelts. The place sports its own quaint dialect of English—which is why there are “Clock Gobble” pockets. It seems that Clark Gable introduced a new type of coat pocket in one of his pictures that so intrigued the garment boys that they copied the style and named it after the actor—but pronounced it in the dialect. Time passed and the new creation was The Judge, Jr. High Hat Award for February To: Mr. George M. Cohan, Actor, Writer and Author; currently play- ing in “I'd Rather Be Right” at the Alvin Theatre, New York City. Citation: For being an institution; for having arrived as a legend while still in full health; for an amazing ability to do well all of the things his varied gifts make possible; for slapping his heels against the boards better than any other man alive; for making all dancers of all times look like amateurs still taking Thursday night lessons; for cocking his hat so that it looks like a hearty laugh should sound; for his grand Irish face crowned with white Irish hair of the whiteness that only good Irishmen can achieve; for the memories he evokes of the other three grand Cohans; for being a living symbol of the good Gaelic phrase ‘Faughaballagh’’; for being kindly and understanding about other peoples’ problems; for the cleanliness with which he lives, thinks and writes; for his unsung generosities, for the encouragement he gives to the members of every cast of which he is a part. JUDGE, Jr. takes great pleasure in presenting a gallant gentleman with his High Hat Award. advertised in the papers and trade or- gans, where it now appears in fancy type, spelled “Clock Gobble.” According to latest scientific advices, it costs an expedition many thousand dollars to nab an elusive Australian duck-billed platypus. This must be a very reassuring fact to the few remain- ing platypuses. However, you may be interested to know—or you many not— that the only mantle in the world made of the pelts of the Australian duck-billed platypus is now on the market. It con- tains forty skins, and is being handled by Revillon Freres in New York as agents, who are pretty chary about nam. ing a figure for this rare item. Without a doubt it is the most hideous single piece of apparel in the world, but if you are in the market for a platypus mantle, the only platypus mantle extant, lose no time, gentle reader, lose no time! Junior gets an odd feeling of joy from signs in juicy juxtaposition. On a street in Brooklyn, the following two emporiums are side by side: “Fairchild Funeral Parlour,” and “Dead Storage— Reduced Rates." And in South Norwalk there are two big signs which almost run together: “Durable Metals Com. pany” and “Maxine Cosmetic Corp.” Which brings to mind that in our home town there was a firm by the name of “Hawks & Spitz”. . . and over where the Ninth Avenue El rumbles past 42d Street is an enterprise doing business under the engaging title of the “Live and Let Live Meat Market.” —Junce, Jr. “HEY, THIS ISN'T MY HAT.” The Judge comicbooks.com