Judge — January 1938 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eV ee eS = ome 1905 First long distance flight by Wright Brothers, 24 miles in 38 minutes... Lewis and Clark Ex- position opens at Portland, Oregon . . . Japan fights Russia. . . Panama Canal Commission rec- ommends sea-level canal . . . Teddy Roosevelt swings the big stick... The Octopus is identi- fied with Oil and Tobacco trusts . . SONNET OF A CHORUS GIRL By FRANKLIN P, ADAMS Lasr night Mae Johnson says to me, “Say, Gert, I know a guy who's awful sweet on you. He says to-night that he will blow we two To dinner.” ‘Oh, ain't you the fancy flirt?” Says I to Mae—and, say, I bet it hurt. But Mae says, “I ain't too good to be true— You near-soubrines think you are awful new.” Well, I'm refined, if I wear a short skirt. Well, say, to snip a lengthly story short, This fellow took me out after the show. And says, “We'll have a malted milk, I think.” Say, wasn't he the shortest shoestring sport? I kind 0’ giggled and I says, “Oh, no, Though I am on the stage, I never drink.” PLEASANT SURROUNDINGS By Carotyn WELLS My love is all the world to me, I couldn't live without her; But there are just two things, you see, That I like best about her. TN ti January, 1958 She often sets my heart awhirl With all her various charms; But what J like about that girl Is just—my own two arms! A FAINT HOPE Comic Eptror—"MY FRIEND, COULDN’T YOU TRY TO WRITE SOMETHING SAD AND SERIOUS?” Port—"Why, 1 THOUGHT YOU WANTED HUMOR.” Comic Eprror—"WE DO; BUT YOUR HUMOR IS SO SAD I THINK YOUR SERIOUS STUFF MIGHT BE FUNNY. . Chemical process for making perfect diamonds reported. A FLY cop Jones got married the other day, and this was the notice he put up on his shop door: “Closed on account of the conjugal association of two individuals of differ- ent sexes.” comicbooks.com