Judge — July 1937 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHO DONE IT? We Furnish the Clues. You Furnish the Murderer Jon Roberts, Hollywood screen idol, has his face lifted once each week to keep his chin from sweeping the floor. His four-hair mous- tache is his pride and joy. He dyes it, trims it, and insures it. Roberts is so scared he goes home for the first time in years and hides in his wife's clothes closet. There the family skeleton, Charlie, shakes bones with the actor and loses his shirt. To add fuel to the fire, Roberts refuses to autograph his rib. ao ra The $1,000 bail, minus the usual ten percent fee, is furnished by Al Kingman, his agent. Kingman’s dazzling blonde companion stuns the actor. “What's your name?” Jon asks of her. “Roberts,” she replies. “You must be my wife, Hazel,” says Roberts. They clinch, fade out. Kingman gnashes his teeth, Jon has stolen the woman he loves. He waits till she leaves, then hurriedly dresses and scampers over to confide with Dimples Darling, his only true friend. “What—oh what shall I do!” he begs of her. “Hand me my sun glasses,” she says, “we're going on a binge.” 26 While dining at the Dirty Derby with the baby star, Dimples Darling, who is really an old Singer Midget, a waitress brings Jon some mashed potatoes, in which is etched “I'm givin’ ya de woiks tonight! Signed—Sugar.” The only Sugar he remembers is a grey- hound at the dogtracks. Joe and Jim, two poor burglars who want to go into the restau- rant business, creep up. They jack up the Roberts mansion and swimming pool and wheel it away. Roberts sneaks out and calls the palice, who rush over arid arrest him. Late that evening, Roberts awakes and stares into four piercing eyes. “Martha!” he ‘cries, “My first wife!” “Twotimer!” she leers behind her glasses, “So you left your Sugar because I grew a beard and got a job in the circus!” “Please, please," replies Jon, “go get a shave, I'll speak to you tomorrow.” Martha marches down to Joe and Jim's hamburger stand and buys a pitcher of black coffee. “Know who I am?’ asks Martha, “I'm Jon Roberts’ first wife!” “Last one to phone a blackmail message to Roberts is it," says Joe to Jim, scurrying away. comicbooks.com