Judge — March 1937 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Junior starts a game and awards prizes—for “civi- lized drinking” lore—Read on for fun and profit! FOR THE PAST few weeks Junior has been doing a bit of research work in the nighteries of Manhattan. So interested did he become in his work, that he has invented a game in which he invites the readers of JUDGE to participate. He wants to enlist their aid in an effort to catalogue the drinking-lore of America. Junior wants you and you and you to join in. It’s going to be a lot of fun and he’s go- ing to pass out a lot of very dandy prizes. But before going any further, Junior wants to tell you of his own experiences. Never the lad to stick up his nose at a bit of honest pub-crawling, and always eager, ready and anxious to put his nerv- ous system at the disposal of science, Junior plunged gaily into the fray and came up with a couple of rather interest- ing discoveries about the drinking habits of himself and his fellow-countrymen. Discovery number one: moderation has grown in popularity by leaps and bounds during the past few years. Sub- debs no longer consider it aw fait to let down their hair at a crowded bar, celebri- ties no longer add to their fame by shout- ing at each other across night club floors and Mr. Babbitt orders his fifth drink only after a great deal of soul-probing. Discovery number two: Junior's night courses, the helpful sort where much is taught without books, brought to his at- tention for the first time the fact that America possesses a dseply rooted bac- chanalian folk-lore. Somehow, it seems to Junior, now that civilized drinking seems to have established itself in our lives as a mode de vivre, this branch of learning, long neglected by research men in the field of life and letters, is worthy of a renaissance, a rebirth, that it may once again occupy its proper and necessary place in the American cultural heritage. March 1937 We, most of us at least, can remember the excrescences of prohibition, and from the point of view of civilized drinking, the speakeasy era did not contribute a great deal to the abundant life. Far, far be it from us to weep into our martini for the return of those dark days. In ret- rospect, it seems to Junior that America squatted on a bar stool, lapping up what, for want of a more descriptive name, were known as cocktails, and which seem to have been composed, in the main, of 1/3 orange juice, 1/3 bathtub gin, andi/3 bay rum. It is exactly the antithesis of this condi- tion that Junior has in mind when he refers to civilized drinking. Obviously, civilized drinking rests upon the civilized drink, and the civilized drink, gentlemen, is the scotch and soda which brings sur- cease to a troubled brow after the day's toil; the seidel of pilsner when the ther- mometer’s going up, up, up; the split of stout just before a weary head finds its well-earned pillow; the spot of brandy after a hearty dinner; the sip of pernod at a sidewalk cafe when it's spring and there’s someone very swell across the table, and, before Junior forgets, there's English ale and cheddar cheese in front of a blazing fireplace, and champagne for weddings and port for births and good straight Irish whiskey for deaths. These, my hearties, are civilized drinks, drunk by civilized men in a civilized fashion. And now Junior, the old beard-mum. bler, would like to get back to his main thesis. In short, it’s this: American drinking has its own folk-lore, as pic- turesque and as much a part of our heri- tage as the anonymity of our vice presi- dents. This bacchanalian folk-lore of ours is a many-faceted jewel. The con. coction of drinks is one of its most important as well as one of its most interesting aspects. There's a great deal More to constructing highballs, cocktails and punches than meets the eye. Connoisseurs of drinking will argue far into the night on such seemingly trivial details as the various types of soda. Many gentlemen of reputation in the community will loudly howl down anyone who dilutes scotch with any- thing but aqua pura. Where, in your opinion, does Vichy en- ter the scheme of highball manufactur- ing? Are you pro or anti ginger ale? These are only very simple examples of the many problems to be met by those of you who would build a better drink. Let us turn for a moment to the field of malt liquors. Here alone, gentlemen, is fertile ground for experimentation and imagination. Think of the possible com- binations of beer, ale, porter and stout. In this-narrow subdivision of drinking a tempest in a beer barrel is raging right now over whether stout should be taken straight or cut with a lighter brew. Even such old standbys as the martini have rival factions, pitedly divided as to the the brand of gin to type of vermouth an be used. Perhaps you would like to air your views on brandy—on the ballons veres vs. the jigger argument. Then there’s our own rural domestic brandy, apple- jack. There's a lot can be done with applejack as a base, my hearties. If you've ever been really cold, you should know what an apple toddy is, and moreover, you should Laois how to make one. The scotch vs. rye question still con. fronts the country, and the virtues and usages of each should be a matter of na- tional concern. Then there's ol’ Kain. tuk’s gift to liquor lovers, bourbon, and, further south, we come to that liquid dynamite, co'n likka. Surely someone of you must have a method for making a palatable drink out of corn liquor. Maybe you know the true combination of one of America’s great regional drinks, such as San Francisco's Pisco Punch, or New Orleans’ Absinthe Frappé. Per- haps you have a statement to make re- garding one of our controversial drinks, such as the Mint Julep (crush that mint and you die like a dog, suh!) or the Tom and Jerry (milk or water, messieurs?). Then there's the inexhaustible field of classic drinking and drinkers. The un. quenchable thirst of Paul Bunyan of course heads the list, but every locale boasts its champion rum-pot and loves to recount his homeric exploits. And toasts, Junior believes, comprise another great and practically untouched subject for those doing research on the customs and habits of our drinking ulation. There must be thousands of toasts, from the sophisticated, “May you live as long as you (Page 30, please) 23 comicbooks.com