Judge — February 1937 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOME OF THE PEOPLE ONE OF THE most startling phenom. ena of the past year was the rise of the trailer as an American institution. In order to show how definitely the trailer today is a part of American life we have assembled for your edification a few choice morsels of trailerana. Pasadena, always in the vanguard of a new move- ment, is building a trailer city. It was described to us as a de Iwxe trailer city, but in California anything with indoor plumbing is de /uxe. In Houston, Texas, Dr. J. P. Cavalier has equipped a doc. tor's office in a trailer, complete with fais) ian waiting room and surgery. In Lancaster, New York, a couple were married in a trailer. Inevitably, in Logan, Utah, a baby was born in one of the things. It has been brought to our attention that there's bad blood between the Calypso, North Carolina, city fathers and Mr, Harry Hopkins of Washington, D.C. Feeling that their town calaboose was a bit passé, the powers that be in Calypso arranged for a W.P.A. grant to construct a new, more swank bastille, fit to house the criminal element of the town in the modern manner. In due time the W.P.A. boys, blueprints and all, were on the job and soon ike gaol was finished, and stood in all its penal glory in the center of the courthouse square. Outwardly, it was a beautiful edibce, but inwardly, we regret to state, all was not well. The boys had forgotten to put cells in it. We've just discovered a rather pertinent little news item which we thought might be of interest to those recently concerned with the evils of subsidization in inter- collegiate football. “There will be a meeting of the Intercollegiate Football Association at the Fifth Avenue Hotel next Monday. The question of profes. sionalism will be settled.” The item is from a New York newspaper; the date, November 2, 1899. It is not generally realized how cute burglars are. The average yegg is as big- eared, round-eyed and winsome as a teddy bear, when he plies his trade. No one could resist the thug who recently robbed Mr. Sidtéy Goldwyn, of Mil waukee; he lisped. “Thtick ‘em up!" he snarled. He searched Mr. and Mrs. Goldwyn, getting thixty thenth. Then he said, “Thcram!” Meanwhile in Denver, two safe-crack- ers posted a note on a dented safe: “Next time,” they pleaded, “leave an easier safe to open.” The most pitiful thief is the one for whom New York was too much. He looted a large house and started out through the playroom, but he saw a bar. They found him full of wine, snor- ing on a couch with his bag of booty clutched in his chubby hand. The thing is that even when burglars succeed they must feel silly. In Houston, Tex., thieves stole a camellia plant six feet tall; it weighed 1000 pounds. An. other robber, in Boise, Idaho, got $120 from miner Ross Terrell's hip pocket, but he had to cut away the seat of Ross Terrell’s pants to do it. In Los Angeles, two men were jailed for stealing elec- tricity from the municipal power plant. In Toledo, they've been swiping the city’s parking meters, and whether it was the work of a band of criminals with a flair for whimsey, the fact remains that somebody stole a steamroller weighing ten tons from the Homestead Machinery Company, of Miami, Florida. hat follows is probably an omen: while all this crime goes on, Sergeant Patrick Kelly of the Summit, N.J., police, has attained the weight of 429 pounds, almost half the size of a camellia. Recovery note: Whether this was due to one of Secretary Hull's reciprocity agree. ments or not, we cannot tell, but a cargo of American canned chop suey has been delivered in Shanghai. We know a woman in Denver whose son, aged cight, acted queer. She shrank from thinking him touched in the head; but she took him to be psychoanalysed, to make sure. She took him to Dr. Ebaugh, who has charge of such things at the Colorado General Hospital. The Doctor led Tom- my into his office and got him started talking. Tommy rambled on about school and games and friends, seeming as normal as a baseball glove, till finally the Doctor tried a long shot. “Tommy,” he said, “are you a little boy or a little girl?” “T'm a little girl,” the lad shot back. The Doctor's jaw sagged, and so did mother’s, when she heard the news. She worried so that she tried some. psycho- analysis of her own, in the car going home. “Tommy,” she said, “why on earth did you tell Dr. Ebaugh you were a little girl?” y= &, ~4 Tommy grinned reflectively. “If a guy asks fool questions,’” he said, “he oughta get fool answers.” Now, we understand, they let Tommy act queer in peace. Like a transubstantiated animal, we feel that we are part of the old Life; conse- uently the other day, we dropped in on the new Life and stood by, combing our beard and looking austere. Nobody had any time left to give us, so we finally comicbooks.com