Judge — December 1936 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

lor g freight into Salt Lake City from Just as he got into the yard limits, they flashed a red light on him. He stopped the train all r was going so fast that when he set the brakes in Salt Lake City, he slid more two hundred miles of track out into the Pacific Ocean.” the cast ght, but he than And now, fellow fibbers, on this occa- sion I want to pay respects to a brother wh o lives right here in Burlington. I refer to Bill Bunner, the only truthful member in our club. It seems Bill went duck shooting up Fox River with Joe Thicl one miserably cold day,—but let’s have Bill tell it as he told it to the boys in the clubhouse. I saw ‘em coming, and I says to Joe, Get down, here they come.” Joe wanted to shoot, but I says, "No, let ‘em light,’ d darned if they didn’t light right in ngst our wooden decoys. There were one hundred of them, all mallards. “Well, we both had repeating guns, and we cut loose into them and emptied the guns as they got up. We picked off ‘ny “Which one of you is Herman Schult “My wife kept nagging me till | bad to give my brother-in-law the job! the table. * duck?” One of our Bluefield, Virginia, corre- spondents reports that there's a lot of trouble curtailing production in the Old Dominion. If all the crops down there grow like Brother R. H. Bowman's cucumbers, no wonder the A.A.A, wouldn't work. ninety-nine out of the hundred.” One of the gang asked, “Bill, why don’t you make it a good story? Why don’t you say you got all of them? “No sit!” shouted Bill, pounding on nety-nine, Why lie for one “You know,” writes R. H., “down Vir. ginia we have some mighty fine farming land. I went out in my garden last sum. mer to plant cucumbers. I made several hills, put the seed in the hills, covered them up and turned around to pick up my hoe. But the cucumber vines had com. here in pletely covered it over. I started out of the garden and the vines grew so fast I couldn't see to get out. I reached in my pocket for my knife to cut through the vines, and darned if 1 didn’t pull a eight inches long out of my pocket!” If I hear a motion to ad journ, we'll end this meet- ing. Until we again, brethren, remember —lux et veritas. That whirring sound you just heard was Diogenes turn. ing in his grave. cucumber convene Judge comicbooks.com