Judge — December 1936 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BY BAIRD NOVEMBER 1. Saints a spiritual misdemeanor not to go to church, so I did set out betimes with Helen, my handmaiden, and we were fortunate enough to be well placed, since on the Sabbath a mighty number of parishioners are moved to make their -The All when I do always feel it would be day of devotions and pew space is not so plen- tiful. And they did sing all the hymns I had hoped to hear, including my be- loved ‘For all the saints who from their labors rest” which I did once tell Samuel I should like to be sung at my funeral, and the wretch did reply that he would certainly look to it, for that some humor was not amiss at the most solemn oc- casions, and everybody present could attest that saintliness was not my out. eps Dic LEONARD standing characteristic and that my aver. sion to labor of any sort was notorious. My spirits greatly dampened this morn. ing because the words I wrote for Mr. even in the paper, and albeit [ was ng the thousand would not have surprised Hearst's song contest were not printed not hopeful of wi dollar prize, me if such good fortune had been my lot, especially after reading some of the entries, but not to have my contribution even noticed was almost too severe a lesson in humility, and I got no sym- pathy from Samuel, neither, because he did wonder aloud that I had not reached the adult stage which recognizes that prize contests, sweepstakes, etc. are al- ways won by housemaids and three-year. old children. He also reminded me of “If you're through playing, lady, we'd like to bring up the garbage.” our cozen Amy's cook, who won one hundred and seventy-five dollars as a prize given by a motion picture house and fainted over when she heard the news, thereafter spending months in the hospital, which caused her stove Amy’s husband to say, inasmuch as she was the first competent cook they had had in years, that he would have gladly given her five hundred in circumstances which would have not caused such a strain on her heart that I regret to set down amuel made no suggestion of re- imbursing me for my incompetence as a lyne writer. Most of the day gone in reading “Drums Along the Mohawk,” a book so honest and true about the be- ginnings of up-state New York that I cannot credit having postponed looking at it. Because I am of the snobbish opinion shared by all who stem from the colonists of the Schoharie region that ndebted to them than ) other section. our nation is more to the citizens of OVEMBER 2.—Awake betimes, and reading in the public print the usual number of things which do never fail to astonish me, and one of them was that a napkin should never be held over a bottle of wine which is being poured unless the host is ashamed of its quality Also arrested by an advertisement of Japanese china, on which I have a physi- cal aversion to eating, and if the dinner served thereon is not excellent my re- pulsion amounts to a desire to hurl my plate, with all its contents, at the foot- man. Looking out my windows at the day, none too bright, but knowing that the count y is aglow with color, I was minded of Florence Nash, better known as an actress than a versifier, who once did write, “It's Autumn in the country Up finally and did on my blue suit, and so now, It’s only colder weather here.” for a fitting on the one really costly costume I now allow myself a year, and this time with long sleeves and a train, and a low hack into which a I have chosen garnet velvet, bib can be inserted when Iam dining with a bishop. Home for tea, and afterwards with Sam to Westbury for dinner, and when we did run into a thick fog which required him to do a deal of tooting and peering, I did remark on the beauty and romance of it and its similarity to London, where. upon he quoth, with unwonted gruff. I believe you would ness, “Ye gods! make a day in the country out of a mid. night fire at sea!” comicbooks.com