Judge — July 1935 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge Little Sam N THIS a of miracles, alarm clocks have attained a marvelous degree of efficiency. We have clocks that tick softly through the night We have polite alarm clocks: clocks that whisper first, then become more insistent and finally shout. Now, 1 am working on the most wonderful alarm clock that ever could grace a bedroom. It will be called Little Sar will tell time like an ordinary clock, will look like an ordinary clock—but ah! the difference. Here’s how it will work: You set the alarm for, say, cight When the hour comes around, the clock whispers: “Wake up, wake up, open your sleepy eyes.” If you don't get up, the clock tactfully murmurs there, old fellow, don't you n Garde!” think you ought to be getting up about now ?” If you still remain blissfully un- aware of any disturbance, Little Sam pouts: “All right then, stay in bed and see if I care.” In the event that you still refuse to budge, the voice becomes emphatic: “Come on, you piece of pork, get out of bed. It’s a quarter after eight, and you're due at the office in half an hour.” If you still don’t rouse yourself, the voice becomes more strident: “Listen, you lazy lug, are you going to get up or do I have to break your lousy neck?” Then if you persist in slumbering, I have so perfected this clock that it can climb off the dresser, hop over to your bed and deliver a swift boot in your pajama pants. And if this device is unsuccessful too, the mechanism of Little Sam displays its crowning achievement. It toddles into the hallway, calls up your office and says: “Hello, this is Mr. Jones's nurse. Mr. Jones cannot be at the office today as he is confined to his bed with gripe.” Then Little Sam toddles to the kitchen and prepares a tomato juice cocktail. —Devery Freeman. Saying When RSONALLY we have come to the conclusion that the horse is man’s best friend—just as long as man doesn’t bet on him. comicbooks.com