Judge — June 1935 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

@ One of New York’s larg- est and newest hotels con- taining 800 outside rooms. Located in the center of the world’s greatest busi- ness-shopping district— the Grand Central Zone. DISTINCTIVE SEASONAL FEATURES @ Casino-in-the-Air—New York’s largest open air roof and floral terraces—where all meals are served during summer season. @ Upper Sports Deck—where guests can take a sun bath in a bathing suit or enjoy deck sports. © Famous Orchestras—Dancing—Ter- race Cafe—Deck Chairs. @ Breakfast from 30c. Lunch- eon, 65c and @ Dinner only HOTEL © MONTCLAIR “The truly American Hotel with American traditions” Lexington Avenue at 49th Street New York City GRAND CENTRAL ZONE HIGH. HAT (Continued from page 29) of tourists, rouletee, phoney Wild West and the old folks. Before I left them the old folks traded me their Ford and the price of the gasoline East for my 8-lunged black shiny beauty. And so here I am somewhere on this continent heading home. Just then a car whizzed by going about 75. I think I recognized my old friends from Down Midwest. I believe they are headed for New York. If you meet them remember Grammaw splits pairs and draws to inside straights, You'll recognize her by her well muscled throwing arm. Boy, with that arm she could pay off the public debt or bolster up the Brooklyn pitch- ing staff! Some facts about Suckerville: Tia Juana means Aunt Jane. What a name for a sucker jernt! It is the older town, Agua Caliente being added just as Fifth Avenue might be added if New York were all Delancey Street. Everything is owned by Broadway playboys who have gone West for their health and everything they can get out of it. They’ve managed to get everything. Tia Juana is known for its quick Mehi- han divorces. You can have the divorce before you've finished that argument with your wife. You can find any form of slot ma- chine in the world in the Tia Juana honky tonks—even one that'll give you back buttons if you play buttons or slugs if you play slugs. There is a thriving business in Mexican jumping beans for the children and the wandering movie stars, stag movies for father, and small clay-pig banks for Mamma. The place is full of little funny brown policemen who look like anemic redcaps at the Grand Central Station, and who throw you in jail if you say anything about their old-fashioned Mexican hospitality. The jail itself is a tough place to be rendered incommunicado within. But for heaven’s sake don’t think. I didn’t like the place. With all its rau- cous griminess, its sucker bait and suck- er joints, it captures that fine old spirit of Prohibition days. It keeps alive the synthetic in fun and liquor. It’s a great place to go to so you can get the hell out of it. I’m sure that Mexico would have abolished it years ago except that the Americans would squawk louder than Huey Long in a washroom. And so tootleoo. With good luck and prevailing winds I ought to make New York by Christmas. I’ve got a scheme to work Liz up to about 14 miles an hour. 14 miles an hour divided into 3000 isn’t so long if you take a long time in figuring it out. And I can al- iad pick up a hitchhiker to give me a aft. Yours, Junior. the new Summer Terrace presents CLYDE LUCAS and his * California Dons, with Lyn Lucas and Linda Lee. * Marion Wilkins and Jack Meyers; Ronny,Van, and Kamplain; Bessinger; the Four Dip- lomats. ke Twice nightly, 7:30 and 11:30. Dinners $1.75 and $2, Cover charge (after 10) 50c, on Saturdays $1. Is Your Home Safe For Weekend Guests? Consider the sad case of the week- doesn’ ender Ww! t want to be athletic, play bridge with the Thompsons or bagatelle with Junior. Have you anything to soothe those sedentary visitors who prefer ham- mocks and books to niblicks and diving boards? Let JUDGE'S SIXTH CROSSWORD PUZZLE BOOK solve the problem. Take our word for it, weekenders will get more hours of fun out of ie than they can following your athletes around. No houseparty is complete without at least one copy, and it’s downright folly to start entertaining without first clipping the coupon below. Please send me.. | 6th Crossword for which I enclose $ I Nome .. ; Address... | State... | Copies of Judge's 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and Sth | Crossword Pure Books are still available |