Judge — June 1935 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

iy Charming as BERMUDA itself From the gleaming white coral of which it is bailt, to the warmth and genuineness of its hospitality, Inverurie is truly Bermudian, Every activity the Island offers . . . sailing, swimming, golf, tennis . . . is found at In- verurie in its most attractive form, Accom- modations are comfortable, cuisine excellent, scial life gay and informal, and rates mod- erate (payable in U. S. dollars) The aristocratic “Cedar Lodg Guest House Annex of Inverurie. Further information, literature and reser- vations from your own Tourist Agent; is now a INVERURIE HOTEL and COTTAGES Bermuda ST. JOVITE, QUE. Ove of Canada’s distinctive all year round resorts. ‘A panorama of wondrous beauty in the lovely Lauren- {lan Mountains. Every comfort of a Metropolitan jeated throughout with several cosy open Enjoy every imaginable sport on snow or ice Ski-joring, Tobogganing. Snowshoeing, Ping-pong, Our bet Niustrated Booklet gladly furnished F. H. WHEELER, Managing Director The President of Twenty Railroads but he's a MENTAL CRIPPLE just the same! @ Long ago in his pick and shovel days, he read good boisterous magazines. But little by little in his climb to success, soft and predigested opinions took the place of the sturdy writing and lusty good humor of his youth. @ It's not a new story— You can't trifle wi © There's no mystery about it. Too many modern magazines do not and cannot give your mind the work it ds. Robbed of that work, it grows sensitive and tender— and sooner or later the werning tinge of “pink” appears. Play safe—get Judge today and read it regularly night and morning. $1.50 sent right now to Judge Magazine, Inc. East 48th Stre bring you a w 's supply of point- ed comments, sharp satire, and invigorat- ing humor. ee After lunch I headed for what they ridiculously call ‘the Gambling Hells. These I found very easily. They proved to be magnificent gilt rooms filled with the heavenly sound of clicking spheres, the rattle of the bones that bring so many colored people happiness, and the sweet swish swish of the pasteboards. People swarmed yither and thon. None of them looked happy or bulgy with money but I paid no attention. T had an even ten dollars left, having paid my hotel bill before I entered the place. And like Canfield heading for a drunken gold prospector, I approached the dice table. Confidently I picked up the dice. Triumphant I laid down the sawbuck. With a rattle and a proud fling of the head I threw out the galloping dominoes | on the first step of making my fortune. | ; I cried “What is it?” And the dice croupier replied:—“Box cars! You come in a wheelbarrow and you return in boxcars! Money doesn’t grow in your hand. The more you bet the more you win. What does the gentleman shoot now?” Something had hit me smack between the eyes. I reached into my pocket for a nonexistent tenner, found nothing, and | wandered in a daze from the table. As I staggered away I heard a com- motion at another dice table. People were crowding around it. Excitement was running, a$ they say, high. I el- bowed my way over and thru the crowd. What should be going forward except | that the dear old grammaw whom I had followed down from Iowa was rolling the dice. Near her stood her old man, a granpaw himself, rooting for her to beat a calliope. His hat was filled with silver dollars—you gamble with cart- wheels—and his pockets were bulging with them. And did that grammaw have an arm and was she having herself a roll! She had the croupiers furious; they were trying to rattle her psycho- logically. They switched the dice on her; they told her to hit this and that; to:shake ’em, to roll ’em; to throw them froma leather cup. But no matter what she did she couldn’t go wrong. Well eventually the old lady got ex- hausted and had to pass the dice, having cleaned up about twice as much as I had originally set as my conservative esti- mate. The next day being Sunday, and | there being racing over the weekend, I had the pleasure of joining them at the track and watching grammaw pick ’em by the looks in the jockey’s eyes. She figured she could tell from where she | stood if a jockey was kind to his moth- er. If he was, he always could win. And she won, too. As for me, I even lost the mental bets I made, pretending I had money. And so it came time to leave this Loaded Paradise. I had my craw full (Page 30, please) 29 With the snort of the Male | “J Like tw CRUISE but not ALL THE TIME "| like to spend @ good part of my vacation ashore... and then cruise home when I'm good and ready. That's why | chose BER- MUDA.” Sail on the “Monarch” or “Queen”, pleasure planned liners sailing twice weetly to BER- MUDA. Live in the grand FURNESS manner « «every room has @ private bathl Every meal is @ feast... and you'll play on the costliest deck playgrounds in cruise service. Step down the gangplank in BERMUDA into a carriage waiting to take you to any number of fine hotels. Stay as long as you like... in the luxury of leisure, with facilities for every sport at your elbow, and a gay round of night pleasures. Then leave when you please and enjoy ancther FURNESS cruise home. Exceptionally low rates for all-expenso cruises including @ good hotel in Bermuda as well as a private bath aboard ship. Round trip fare $50 up Apply local agent or Furness Bermuda Line, 34 Whiteball St. (where Broadway begin: International Bldg., 634 Fifth Ave., New York FURNESS LEADS THE WAY TO BERMUDA comicbooks.com