Judge — February 1935 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge VIMING GOES” HIGH Oe HAT EAR no more the terrors of the br Have your Mediterranean cruise for nothin; beauties ! Go to sea with no thought of seasickness, ye colliewobbles ! The American Lines have solved your problems for you. Up on Fiith Avenue near 4 treet this saucy tubbed company has set up a real ship in its passage booking offices. You enter the place, cross a gangplank, and climb aboard. Deck stewards wander about in neat uniforms. Look down over the rail and you can see the depths of canvas briny below. Look forward and the gleaming prow cuts into the horizon like a steel knife. Look aft and a flag, operated by a breeze from an electric fan, proudly proclaims that American shipping rides proudly on Britannica’s waves! Doesn't this answer all the problems of a sea voyage this year? For instance, those who love the sea but are in terror of their lives while riding in a rowboat on the six-inch waters of Central Park's lake can go to sea while nestling on dry land. I'm sure the Ameri- can Line people, in full sympathy for their nervousness, would sell them a ticket that would allow them to cross the gangplank with all baggage, and bid their friends goodbye in one of those parties where there aren't enough glasses to go round and bon voyages are drunk out of soap dishes, flower vases, ete. Then each day (after a good night's sleep in the cabins below) they could come up on deck and loll under the sun lamps in a deck- facing one of the many murals that hang on the walls around the ship. Since cach of these murals represents different ports of call, the voyager would be in a different port every day, wireless his friends by handy radio boy, send out for souvenirs from the nearby Fifth Avenue foreign shops, and arrive home eventually without once having encountered seasickness, ocean jitters, or any worse weather than prevails in the usual office building in New York! As for the person without money, on a cruise, is to drop into the offic information, climb over the gangplank stow away ina lifeboat until discover Mubbing hearties! my empty-pursed the simplest way for him to go sk the clerk for folders and and then while left alone | and chucked out. 1.0.’ BRIDGE player picked up a hand and found he had been dealt 13 spades. In his excitement he bid 7 No Trump, played the hand at that declaration and made it. How come? An American missionary, teaching a clas one a maxim to memorize for the next « were the standard truisms of Japanese, gave each The subjects of the copybook and each student was given a different one to learn. The following day each pupil was sent to the blackboard, and asked to write the maxim he been told to learn, Painstakin: ra piece of chalk, one little Oriental care- ' of ible idiot.” fully wrote the wo: The teacher lookec it, smiled at the boy and said: “You have the idea but not the exact words I gave you.” What was the maxim the teacher had given him? Answers on page 30. Open Season N old gentleman, complete with handlebar moustachi into the firearms department of Abercrombie & (Page 30, please) s, dropped h t’other 7 comicbooks.com