Judge — February 1935 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Love and Taxes T’S high time that the Government stepped in and did something about love. Not that our Federal executives need any encouraging when it comes to stepping in, but it seems to me that love has gotten all mixed up with taxation. And St. Valentine’s Day furnishes the n for a frank discussion of the ect looking to some practical solu- tion of the complex problem. Two or three epochs ago love was a simple matter in man’s relation to Gov- ernment. A foot race or a sudden bopp over the head culminated in a domestic establishment which required no prop- erty taxes, water taxes, city, county, stat federal taxes. Later eras saw love evolved from these catch-as-catch-can contests into a sort of exalted 1} trade. But as woman grew more and more restive as chattel, so romance, like transporta- tion, fuel, food, housing, communic. tion, and swinging doors be affected by its public use. Thus love in one way or another gets into taxes and when Mr. John Q. Citizen and the little blonde on the leit appear on the primr path it is no longer heir own privi ffair, It becomes a natter of financial interest to the entire nmunity, and county, state and fed 1 problems enter into the idyl along ith a lot of complications that fect the cost of living. solution seems to be to de- public utility, put it upon a meter and either control it in the pub- i rests, or socialize it (a horrid word) for public use. Sooner or later we must establish State Love Commissions and after that a Federal Department of Love should be the next step in Government control of romance. Already n see it growing. The Bureau of Park Benches and Divans, the Federal Dance Control Board, The Carioca Commission, the Comptroller of Compatibility, and the Division of Polemics and Divorce. And with these mellow meditations we leave St. Valentine. JUDGE on trae BENCH Two Stories OT so long ago the New York IN Times received a post card from Virginia which had a dollar bill pinned to it. As the dollar was a contribution to the Times Neediest Cases, was confident it would safely. No doubt he was further motivated by Senator Borah’s insistence that Relief monies be handled with a minimum of overhead, he sender arrive Then re is the one about a small town out West that wrote to Washing- ton and asked the PWA to send them six carloads of fresh leaves immediate- ly. It seemed that the old leaves had been raked up so often they had worn out. Younger Generation Notes HEN Twas a boy back when the bankers had big corporations and could buy their way ir still would be boys if the oc When a group of t swapped penknives, ture: aven, boys sion arose, her, we varette pice and played . Which we ows where a it would rems nent of k picked up from lord which I always thous forever. smok sort game. But such is not the case, as I hav learned by the behavior of my young masculine relative who spends the day in a New York k. He does, of course, play games. not of the vintage of my boyhood 1 a Rock, Cops and on Your Own Side, Pepper- 1 Mustard for him. i have changed and here is v are playing tod: “Buck Rogers.” This game consists in rigging up Paralysis Rays, which paralyze the victim without killing him; Molecular Propulsion Motors, with which the children hope to demo! turn; rocket pistols, rocket ships, electro- hypno-mentalephones for reading the minds of villains; space suits; psychic force rays, and so forth. It sounds fan- tastic but then Buck Rogers is fantastic. 14 mes are No Robbers, time Incidentally, vou ought to try to get a Buck Rogers boy to eat his spinach. He will bombard you with such an assort- ment of paralysis rays, disintegrators, mental hydraulic pressure tablets, ete., you are lucky to be alive after the sup- per ordeal. Another game they play is Capital and Labor which is merely the Cops and Robbers of our youth, adapted to modern trends Then Alive the b (Lion there “Bring ’Em Back ne obviously modeled on od-curdling adventures of Frank Bearder) Buck. It and bringi consists of ig in the other kid: ter they hide, usually with “Mrs. Roosevelt.” This game is won by the child who can get around to the greatest number of places in -the park during a given period. But the game they play that would be my favorite were they ever to invite me into the inner sanctum of their child's world is a game it took me a long time catch violence. y young male relative came home from a hard day's play one after- noon singing a little ditty, tunelessly, I might add, that went: I'm the ki You're the g of the Castle, dirtiest Rascal, effect. I questioned ne but he couldn't tell beyond that the boys screamed at each other loudly and had bodyguards. I thought and thought and thought and finally came the dawn. or words to t him as to the me anything They had been playing Huey Long.” Let There Be Light 'M getting a little fed up with the national squawk of the present mo- I refer to the general beef that is being heaped on the so-called Public Utilities. Such a tremendous campaijn of abuse is being hurled on the poor power people they are gradually assum- ing the proportions of the Bogey Man, Tammany, and the Gangster. (Page 26, please) ment. comicbooks.com