Judge — December 1934 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Stick around, Joe. That's a loaded cigar.” HIGH HAT (Continued from page 17) economic systems? There’s something wrong with the one we have now and I'd make it worth your while if you put it into some sort of shape so we could get some Judge, Jr. yots on the blue water, some money in our jeans, a little caviar inside us and a few girls on our again. Sort of spread a little m: nificence around, And is there any ce of building me up with a girl named Greta Garbo? I think she lives somewhere on the West Coast and is lonely, I'll give three dollars for that job, Have you any i arm ar of how to about setting up a few bars for 1 y? The gals are cluttering up our elbow-bending exercises. I'd rather the men drinking out of the gal's slippers than the gals drinking out of the gentses number 12s, And since you can pick up rare old gadgets get me the following: a dollar dinner with a bottle of good wine thrown in. A racehorse that’s touted and then wins, A good old-fashioned variety show with the quality of come- dian Jimmy Savo and W. C. Fields and Victor Moore represented. A lice force that doesn’t arrest you 35 days a year and try to sell you charity ball tickets the other 10. A servant without faults. A debutante with cul- ture and no cultured ent. And when you get all this done [ want you to buy me a winning sweep- stakes ticket, get me a free passag around the world, a father for my chil- dren, three scalps of taxidrivers for my den and Mae West's telephone number When you've finished with it all, [ have one more job for you. Get me the money to pay you for what you've « for me. Luck, —Jevpcr, Jr. Tiny Tots Guide to Christmas Shopping (Ye Olde Fashioned Kinde) Li GADGI from Ye Lewis & B Ye Conger of 45th and 6th Avenue. Guaranteed to save ye labour and add to ye Xmas pleasure—Foursome or 2some Shaker: akes four or 2 different co ils at once. For mem bers of the Shaker Sect who like a cock- tail made of cocktails . . . Mir Cash Register: Put it on your make your friends pay as they oil ... Shaker Mitts (with bells on): Slip into one and tackle the shaker without danger of getting cocktail hand. For people who want to keep their hands dry but get their throat wet... Bar Ma Contains a muddler, swizzler, opener, corkscrew, and measuring spoon all in one. Does everything but drink ature and comicbooks.com