Judge — July 1934 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIGH HAT After College,—What? OST college men try to earn an honest dollar in the summer. Many of them get jobs counsellors at Boys’ Camps; lots work on farr some carry ice. My story concerns one who go himself a place as Pullman conductor. Waterproofing Dep't. T’S getting to be less and less hazardous for my blonde phrail friends to go swimming. I don’t mean that there is less danger of having a dainty limb snipped off by a lecherous shark or getting caught in the quicksand or in the under- tow. I mean there is less chance of their getting wet. In the old days the gals avoided contact with the water with enough clothes to cover a June Bride. Now it is much more subtle. Here is how my sweet hussy dainties pre- pare for a dip in the briny. First they make sure the sun is shining brightly. Then they coat themselves thickly with a prepara- tion guaranteed to keep the rays of the sun from penetrating even the armor of a battleship. Following this they put on their waterproof makeup and their bath suits. The bath suit is made of rubber and is followed on by some form of beach rig kriown as a pajama. This has enough yardage to make a stream- line tent for Heywood Broun. On their lovely tresses they perch an enormous pancake of a hat, big enough to cover Dyckman Oval. Then comes sun glasses, then shoes, to avoid contact with the sand. OW my twillies are ready to issue forth. This is dangerous. A Violet Ray is liable to sneak up on one and nestle into a loose pore. A big umbrella must needs be flung up as insurance against. So pro- tected, they hustle to their place on the beach and promptly encase themselves in a sunproof cabana, with awnings flung on every side. Now the gals feel safe at last and promptly set themselves up to en- joying the sea, thru smoked glasses, and the saltair, which nudges against the sides of the cabanas ever so gently. Once home the sweetie-pies smear themselves from head to toe with soothing anti-sunburn lotions. You never can tell, you know, what sneaky ray got in its dirty brown work. And after all, my dears, ex- posure can do as much to ruin one’s skin! And go near the water during all this? Certainly not. Not in the bathing season. 12 Accordingly he purchased himself a brandnew bly uniform and_ ticket punch and got himself a run at the Grand Central train offices It was to be from New York to Providence. | might add he was a Colum. bia fellow. His college friends had heard abou: and decided to see him off They got hold of him, gath. ered him into a tavei 42d Street and celeb his impending departure. When train time came, h waved everybody a weepy farewell, reeled aboard his flier and was imme poured into an upper by 2 Pullman porter who knew about such things. train moved out anc time arrived at Providence. Our hero got out to find himself being greeted by the local Chapter of his nity at Brown which I be lieve paints Providence red. They had heard of his ar- rival by wire & had decided to meet him. He wa promptly escorted to th nearest House of Cheer where much was made o his safe journey from (Page 24, please) comicbooks.com