Judge — June 1934 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eee Judge Mistress Pepys’ Journal By Baird Leonard AY Shad roe for breakfast, L with plenty of tartar sauce, a temporal irregularity which would doubtless have shocked our forefathers who consumed pie and beefsteak at the same meal. But I have long since de- rat the proof of the pudding lies in the moistening which accompanies it, and I do believe that I could eat an old straw hat if it were sufficiently cov- ered with Hollandaise. Reading in the journals that some Western doctors have discovered a new drug which will reduce weight by accelerating the body's metabolism, and if their theory is sound, they have millions in prosp Lord! most of the women of my acquaintance have been living on skimmed milk and bananas since the findings at John Hop- kins were published a week or two ago, to the great delight and profit of ¢ mission merchants who deal in tropical fruits. I did once think that if I were desirous of becoming suddenly rich, I should set up as a fortune teller or go about with a popcorn waggon, but I now convinced that the swiftest way t fame and fortune is to fo! cided religion or invent a quack 1 her y Phillips to see me, fresh from honeymoon in Virginia, and some- what dubious of the wisdom of marry ing into the hunting set. “Because, Mrs. Pepys,” she quoth, “I myself am about as horsey a taxpayer in Ven- ice.” When she had gone, I did order my typing machine to be brought, but found it difficult to embark on composi tion, which distressed me, for lately | have become somewhat like the old Negro who told the chirurgeon, “I eats ul r and [ sleeps all right, but when I see little work [ goes all of a tremb But my leth will aig ay when nean s it would be a pity to let two persistently ing owing toenails stand between me and immor- tality. To dine this ht with the Jackson Reynolds, finding there the Owen Jol ns and Royal Cortissoz, the art critick, and first we had quan tities of caviar in the drawing-room, omato, terrapin d la wild — rice, and then essence of Maryland, creamed Agus, and vanilla strawberry sauce. And ice cream wit “Gawd, Mamie, look! It's Winchell!" 10 “You can just wait till we get home. I'm notgoing to stop now!” AY 2— late, pond and th 1 do first ke, and wa especial ney won on a wee minded of the girl who had such good une in the novel, Gala her deed was to ! first pur- salts. » know well that the qu whose firs shingled, chase was a bottle of bat such a financial dispositi decided for me st put to Stern’s or Bloomi day being the twenty-fifth wedding an- Niversary of two of our closest friends, the enviable species which “has every- I was at my wits’ end to arrive at sor g both original and aesthetic for a gift, so did finally decide on white orchids in a porcelain bowl, with maid- enhair fern surrounding 1 trailing in sufficient exuberance, and silver ribbon placed appropriately for symbolism. Lord! if Sam and [ ever achieve the same milestone of domestic bliss, [ shall lappy if someone gives us a mustard pot, the one piece have always lacke he of silver which we albeit we have mad out well enough in crises with a mar- malade jar. Marge Boothby for Iunch- con, and we did talk of suitable epitaphs for our tombstones, and Marge said that hers would probably be, “She never was, but always to be, thin.” Where- (Page 28, Please) comicbooks.com