Judge, 1934-06 · page 11 of 41
Judge — June 1934 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Today It Would Be Like This" — Judge Magazine Satire This two-part piece by Chet Johnson satirizes the celebrity circus surrounding exotic animal expeditions and early film promotion. The top cartoon shows a hospital patient besieged by reporters, photographers, and film executives—each demanding different things: interviews, photos, contracts, autographs, and product endorsements. The caption "You're news. You see you're the first hit and streamline-viction!" captures the absurdity of instant fame-making. The accompanying story parodies this further: a sea captain arriving with wild animals is immediately mobbed by competing demands—journalists wanting sensational tales, filmmakers pitching movie deals ("Fierce Crossing," "Tiger Trip"), and agents offering five-thousand-dollar weekly contracts. The humor lies in how the captain's actual experience becomes irrelevant; everyone wants their version of the story, not the truth. This reflects 1920s-era anxieties about media sensationalism, celebrity manufacturing, and how technology (radio, film, photography) transforms real events into commodified entertainment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Dt pedo movies next week! We've got to get to press in twenty minutes! .. .” “Over this way, Captain! R this mike! And there's five hun it for yc f about O. ed in ou'll say a few words ty Soothing Syrup for “Wait a minute, Captain! First tell us about the trip! Did you take along ants for the ant-eaters to eat, or what did they eat?” “Look up here a second, Captain! I busted that last plate!” “Over here, Captain! Smile! That's fine!” aptain, will you autograph this?” “Here’s the contract, Captain! Six weeks at five thousand dollars a week! And twenty more weeks if you'll make a personal appea Broadway! W ard. ance at the premiére on ‘have lions and leop all over the lobby and...” rin, you didn’t answer the ques- about the ant-eaters !” (Page 25, please) Today It Would Be Like This By Chet Johnson “Teo JK this way, C. ain {'" holding one ion cubs that were born at sea for this next on of those \\ ty girl to hold the a= eS) cub and let the Captain stand beside he: with his bead poked through a life pre- : HoT in PRRUDVO Tt rsaay sete] Raa, »! Get a pre server “Just one more, Captain!" “Avast there, boys! I've got to get this wild animal cargo unloaded fast.” “Tell us about the trip first! . Was it your worst trip in forty y ” “Oh, it wasn't so bad.” “Did you sce any sea monsters?” “Nary a one, boys.” “Come on, Captain! Give us a good yarn! Didn't the lions and tigers roar when the storm came up? ... Wasn't somel “Well, of course, the critters were a little ne at times, but I just sort of spoke to them and they calmed down, wel fellows! ungway ! Let me throug! Listen, Captain: I'm) from) Thrill Adventures Films, Incorporated! We want to start work by Saturday on a ie of your voyage! We'll call it erce Cr g. ‘Tiger Trip’ ‘Ele phants Below’ or something like that! y of your animals act?” . I dunno, . ng, » We can fill in the weak spots with our own animals, We've got Flossie la Flicker for the love in tand...” “Get out of the way, guy! Make your comicbooks.com