Judge, 1934-03 · page 13 of 36
Judge — March 1934 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical style: **"Judge"** (top): A gossipy social column mocking upper-class pretension and gift-giving etiquette. The florist's prank—sending a deliberately wilted plant—plays on expectations of quality service. **"Blended"** (middle): A simple joke about rain and whisky, relying on double meaning. "Blended" refers both to blended whisky and rain mixing together. **"Snap"** (bottom): Four brief social observations. The graphology joke mocks fraudulent "handwriting analysis" experts popular in the era. Other quips satirize Santa Claus, Congressional spending, Cuba's government corruption, and old saloon violence. The illustration shows what appears to be a robbery in progress, with the caption providing ironic commentary on criminal incompetence. The page exemplifies Judge's tone: urbane, class-conscious humor targeting both social climbers and government inefficiency.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Judge presidents, and Sam says that we should congratulate ourselves every morning of our lives on not seeing her face in a tabloid. Charlie and Bedelia Falls in, and Charlie told how he had given some money to a mendicant who added “God you!” to his thanks, whereupon Charlie asked him if he had a pull with God, and told him that if he had, to order the beneficence reversed. A great plant delivered to me this afternoon, in such bedraggled condition that I was bewildered how the famous — florist whose name it bore could have sent it out, so T was moved to telephone him to that effect, confiding that if it were not so handsomely done up and equipped with the address of his establishment, I should think it was a joke. “How now, Mrs. Pepys,” he said. “It is a joke. You will find the card by digging.” So that wretch of a Chamberlin Dodds has scored once in on me, but if he lives to be an octogenarian he will never equal his feat of working off on me the Murillo-style madonna painted on a bath towel. Sam home early, full of chatter, and one thing he told us was that it was not keeping up with the Joneses which bothered him, it was keeping within a hundred miles of them Blended HE rain is raining all around, It rains on you and me; It rains in whis' 2 . Most drinkers will agree. “Hey, how the heck did you get up here?” Snap HESE graphology experts are marvellous—one told a friend of ours that his hand-writing revealed him to be poor, dishonest, conceited, and so on. Yes, his hand-writing was on a check that came back, Further apart than a school teacher’s pay days, A girl is grown up when she finds out that Santa Claus isn’t a man little girls e letters to—he’s a man who writes letters to little girls. And it certainly would help things a lot if those fellows down in Washington would start living within our incomes. Cuba exports chiefly sugar, tobacco and aspirants for Presidential honors. Another thing against the old time saloon is that it not only had swinging doors in the front, but it also had “Listen, mugg, we're supposed to be doin’ the robbing here!” swinging fists in the rear. comicbooks.com