Judge — November 1932 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge The Balm Situation Department of Commerce, Washington, D. C. ENTLEMEN: With no intention of eavesdropping I heard two distinguished-appearing gentlemen talking over trad conditions the other day. One of them confided: “There is no balm in Gilead.” Now, why don’t you get busy on this matter? Here hot bit of news ‘but, so as I know, the public is practically ignorant of th shortage. And, as I understand the set-up in Washington, it is your job to pass along any tips concerning business promotion that come your way. What is the average balm consumption in Gilead? ls there any tariff on balm there? Is the shortage due to failure of local crops or has Gilead alw: depended upon outside balm to fill the demands? Would a good firm of balm importers have a chance of getting an official concession? Or is the balm busi ness in Gilead run on a first-come first-served b: Does Gilead owe us any money on war loans and, if so, would they be willing to consider a deal whereby we might cancel some overdue interest if they would take a couple of boatloads of Grade A American balm? Your department should issue a Balm Export Bul- letin at once and give Ameri growers and shippers the lowdown on this matte: And there’s another question I hope you answer in the Balm Bulletin: Just where is this Gilead, anyhaw? Yours Truly: Cnet JOUNSON VOTE HERE NO RRECTIONEER ING “T tell ya Bryan ain't runnin’ this year!’ Same Effect E’'VE given up taking cold showers every morning. We xo down to the bank and ask for a loan instead. Auto manufacturers now test their cars by having a stock model driven on a proving ground until it is totally ruined. That sounds like a job where a college education should help a lot. Nowadays, the way to get the world to make a beaten path to your door is to start a breadline. Then there’s the football fan who didn’t have the price of admission, so he acted dumb and walked in with the rest of the newspaper men, The southern farmers are having a tough time of it. Now nobody seems satisfied with the cotton crop they've produced, except possibly the boll weevils. And this winter it looks like we'll keep cool with our janitor. comicbooks.com