Judge — June 25, 1932 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Sitwell Indoor Picnic Outfits by Travis Hoke © THE TRADE: You would think that the merits of picnicking at home instead of all crowding into your auto to go some- where else and eat had been explained enough by now so that everybody would appreciate same, but being as certain parties are advertising their home picnic outfits to the public like they are something new, undersigned wishes to point out advantages of Sitwell Indoor Picnic Outfit over same of r' even though Sitwell Policy is to never knock competitors but to just give same enough rope to hang them self with. IRST, it was the Sitwell Parents Supply and Nov Co. that got up the idea of why go places to pi why not stay home and get worn out and all others are imitators. Next, no other firm puts out a good Auto- matic Picnic Weather Maker, without which no indoor picnic can duplicate the outdoor kind. What you do is, “Darling, don't you think it's about time you set the machine for the time in the morning you to pick our bean?” would get up to see how's the weather, say 5 a.m., or earlier if you are children, and when the alarm rings the Sun Lamp goes on and you think it’s going to be a nice day. Five minutes later the Sun Lamp automatically goes off and the Portable Shower turns on for ten minutes, then the sun for ten, and so on, keeping you positively unde- cided until starting time, when the Sun stays on until the time you reach picnic grounds if you were going to same. Promptly at time of arrival the Shower turns on long enough to get parlor carpet wet, or we can supply indoor picnic ground (Woodsy Dell No. 22G) made of best Bahama sponge and guaranteed to stay wet for hours. Portable Shower can be used to humidify children same as if they fell in creek, but advise just filling bath tub and letting them fp near same, so you will be far enough away when you hear them yell to make it like outdoor picnic. Sun Lamp is used for burning and freckling, and if supplied with In- door Beach Picnic Outfit comes dou- ble strength and will quickly make Indoor Sand hot as desired. Picnic Weather Maker featured exclusively with Sitwell, as is the Andante Tire Deflator, which will positively not let tires down until time you would be going home. A’? Sitwell Indoor Beach Gutfit as item not found in other makes: Our Nonpareil Bathing Suit, made of special short-fibre material guaranteed to itch as long as worn. So advise your customers to try a CoMMUTER—AII right, Dorothy—y' better start opening th’ front door. Sitwell Outfit next time they want to 24 comicbooks.com