Judge — May 28, 1932 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

substitute bigger and better dic- tators or bigyer and better factories. What I want is a Revolution to di away with work, as far as possibl At the sound of less work Mac brightened. “To do away with work, hmmm. That’s different,” he said. I WARMED on. “Yes, why not?) Wha ull this talk about the beautie labor. What man, when busi- was sood, cared about hard ? The richer he got the furthe he wanted to yet away from it, leav- ing it all to others while he clipped coupons and tore up divots. No?” “Yes” he said, scratchins: the head of his cane. “But” I said soapboxingly and crafty. “My revolution is going to he bloodless. I'm going to advocate a platform to do away with prohibi- tion and highpressure promoters and coupon clippers. Instead of bigyer and better dictators and factories, I'm for no dictators and factories.” “But how we going to yet any- thing done Mac said, quite intel- ligently for a man who studied eco- nomics four years at college. “Well, it stands to reason we've sot to work—some. Why not just work enough to keep the world run- i he only difference is that everybody will do the thing he wants. That is, everybody but loafers and livewire salesmen. We'll make the loafers hotel desk clerks and the others we'll shoot. There'll no government because everyone’ll the government. We'll all salaries from the government and the only crime will be hoarding money. The idea'll be that every- body’ draw the same amount plenty to live on in luxury. Why not? It’s only a matter of printing enough money to yo round and hav- ing some simple money standard. “Also I'm in of be be draw favor of keeping WOT! nga egy VM TRYING TO BRING You To PlLoSsom Gos thines high hat. Why not?) Why not make conditions for work as com- fortable as possible? Let it be fixed that the motorman operate his street ur in Prince Albert and high hat. Let him be chummy and polite to the customers. Let the boilermaker take a few hours off for lunch at the Waldorf. Let the shopyirls and modomes take cocktails at 4 in amony the counters. It sounds fantastic, but why not a slogan: millionnaire, with a High Hat, cane, Hispano and a home in the coun- try?" “It sounds a little wild,” said Mac. “And why am I elected “Well,” I said. “After an exhaus- tive study all the world over I've de- cided that you are probably the laziest man around and therefore the best to lead the Revolution!” “What Revalushir said a coarse voice. We looked up and saw the argest hunk of beef in the world, sed in blue and looking down on us along a length of nightstick hind him stood a ring of spec I'd raised in my innocent highhat Union juaring, “So ya goin’ ta lead the Rev lushin’ are ya? the beef beefed. “Well, git goin’ and don’t start leadin’ it around here, see, or I'll drag ya down ta Union Squweh and sive ya both a taste a horse’s hoof!” Well, we med. But is just like the police to spoil a fellow’s 21 YOURE NOT NG BACK UNDERGROUND me mad. After the makes too. spring plan Well, we'll fir revolution, that Anyway, we § mmed along with- out looking behind and only when Mae suddenly yanked me into a dank, smelly underground basement did I feel relieved. As we raised brim- ming things to our lips Mac said. “Yessir, if it hadn't been for the underground and my _ familiarity with it you’d be looking up into horse’s hoofs this instant. But I won't rub it in. All I'd like to point out is that ex: 2 is a dangerous thing!” The Handy Gadgeteer My Domestic Science Release (pre- pared by my High Heels Tango and Household Accessory Dep't.) this week concerns a tidy little kitchen yadget that should help out like little colonel these no-dividend days. Especially if you've had to let Mrs. Slitz go and do the cooking yourself, women. It is*called the M it rigs up easily to a plug (electric, not equine), is geared with various speeds and enables you to mix scien- tifically and accurately anything from a mayonnaise to a_ vanilla groom for a wedding cake. It also can be operated so that it drips oil or juices into whatever you are con- cocting. Last, but not least, it will squeeze an orange or a lemon for a you-know-what, if you put it right up to it. Lewis & Conger will supply you or you can write direct to the Sunbeam Electric Products in New York, Hihattractions Ed Wynn amid Tuesday’s static for the new Fireman's+Hat gas .. . (Page 31, please) comicbooks.com