Judge — April 9, 1932 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

itua- nces- little late His bale- line anly ‘Pull king ance | he jon'’t Way tal.” e to nake loth- erly had who We in (wattene tT FR LOAD, AN’ aq ual oan Au TEAR loge ws I! we a ve NAPKIN! GE HGH @ST oF HUSH HALL HAVEING - behind me. I'll open traffic and Il get her there in time. Whe the hospital?” My friend named a distant one, and, siren hooting, traffic falling . they were off in a cloud of Needless to s my friend was dust. still at his quick thinking. Until presently they came to a long clea ghtaway. The Law turned and d- encouragin “All set buddy. Smoke them tires!" In the wink of an eye he dwindled in the distance to the size of a humming gnat. Whereupon my friend spun around the nearest corner and was off right angles. He still shuddering at the thought of what would have happened at the hospital. Retort Courteous OME weeks ago, I expressed my- self rather av boeuf on the matter of shirt collar shrinkage and two things have happened. (a) A repre- sentative of the Cluett Peabody Co. appeared with fire in his eyes and copious notes and proceeded to lec- ture me about keeping up with the public prints. Had I done so, he roared polite I would have seen advertisements to the effect that non- shrinkable or Sanforized shirts could now be purchased. And (b) A gent named Brill Jr. describing himself as the owner of Brill Bros., and a couple of other fellows sent me four 1) of the aforesaid Sanforized DULLAS i Fs Ay oe HAUL Ins —EAD ULL NOT BEND A COIKSCREW OR ScpETeH JUDGE ily, Toily-¥ zz 49 iG VILL Do tr! shirts which I gathered to me ¢ fully, especially since they we accompanied by a lecture. nyway, I’m very grateful all around. I wonder if I kicked about motor cars in some way, would the Cadillac Company send me around a blue phaeton (with a radio in it)? un- Dirty Work Underground ERE is a true account, so fine a tudy in the art of chiselling as practised in this golden of chis- elry, it ought to be writ with a sharp instrument :— It seems that even in the worst families, like those that give racket- eer sons to the world, there may lurk a black sheep. I leave it to you to imagine what a shade of black that is. Anyway it so happened that such a weak brother in such a family was forever being pulled off spots and dragged out of tight jams by an elder brother who had courage and big ideas and had made a success out of shady manipulations. This elder brother’s patience finally broke and he grew furious over the younger one’s misdeed It was giving him a bad name. So he called the younger to him and said “I’m going to help you again. The next time you get into trouble you can hang for all I care—which is what you probably will do.” The younger brother was so im- pressed he decided to go straight. 21 Accordingly he got himself a ps a hole in the ground and a carpenter and opened a speakeasy. That is, the carpenter made him a hushi: Saturday afternoon, and ree check for his services. The check took five to bounce since it had been written on a bank in Detroit When the carpenter came around to demur, he was told to scram. The next step was to light place. Our hero accordingly check on a bank in St. Le to the light company as the deposit and got nice light till the check Lounced. Then he had no light. However, it happened that a musi- cian had a studio two flights up in the same building and wasn’t there nights. So black sheep ran an ex- tension wire upstairs and burned the musician’s juice. Until the musician found out about it and threatened arrest. After borrowing light door from next nd other places, our friend at last was forced to use a storage bat- tery (rented) to which two spot- lights (borrowed) were attached. The liquor problem was a little less difficult. When a customer ap- proached, one of the partners would borrow a dollar (from the timid tailor next door) and rush across the street to a cordial shop where he could purchase one bottle of bath- tub. This he would sneak back into the shop and sell at fifty cents the drink. The ice, there being no ice- box, was kept rolled up in a towel (Page » please) WUNIOR IS PRAM