Judge — April 9, 1932 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DUNKE! JUDGE Fads and Fancies for the Well-Dressed Bull By S. J. Perelman 0 say that Paris was agog last week would be putting it mildly; it was agogger than that, and—in the opinion of several old inhabitants who can remember far back as the winter of ’88—it was the agog- gest week on record. The hospitals were crowded to capacity with hun- dreds of cases of gunstroke and fleemish directly traceable to the agogment, and up to tonight officials of the Agog Bureau held forth no promise of abatement. A late state- ment anent abatement this afternoon read “Only a very severe abatement can overcome the agogment. Please place rels on your stoop—or on your piazza if you have no stoop —to catch the abatement when it come Families still having small supplies of abatement should use it only for cooking. A limited supply of milk is still on hand for washing purposes.” Two hours later, how- ever, the milk was all gone, a Miss Anna Held having inadvertently used it up the whilst taking a bath. When taken into custody Miss Held refused stoutly to peach on the male- factors who had given her the milk and was handed over to wild bulls to be gored. A later statement con- tradicts this one and says Miss Held was really handed over to wild gulls to be bored. Inasmuch as Miss Held s, April called up police headquarters only an hour ago to report that she was floored by these reports, the two statements are probably a tissue of lies. The only real fact that arises from this welter of rumor is that Paris was certainly agog last wi The r on why Paris w. agog D the presence of twenty policemen who were h for the summer openings. Little excited squeals of “My DEAT "t that the most RAVishing frock ou ever SAW?" and other similar little squeals were wrung from out civic defenders as they watched the spring and summer modes parade before their entranced And such an an excited buzz of conversation and jealousies! Two membe the Bomb Squad became perfectls furious when each learned the other had bought the same evening wrap Even at meal-times the irrepres- sible patrolmen could talk of nothing but the smart clothes they had seen. Over the bluecoat pudding with which Parisian chefs honored Gotham’s finest could be heard ea cries of “It has the most ad shirring at the waistline, my ove the accordion pleats Heavens, can you imagine put- ting godets and reveres on a severe (Page 28, please) “They must think you've never driven a car before, dear.” comicbooks.com