Judge — March 26, 1932 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Do or Diet [ 2°87 auite remember how T came to meet her, excepting my cyes met hers, there was a loud explosion and after [ pulled myself together again there I was devoting my entire life to her. And very splendid it was, too, until I found out she was an old-fash- ioned girl. She dieted. Now you m heard (they it’s been rumored around) that people dieting require special menus. And, a nicely rounded bunch of cal- orics, included in a bowl of broccoli (no sauce), a soupcon of alligator pear, a brisket of knackebrid and some scented non-fattening ice runs have / JUDGE into the price of sev- eral square table dhotes. Thus, to keep her well underfed, I to have without my own neces- with the result that my own weight, not to men- tion my pocketbook’s, began falling off. I didn’t mind this particularly; one look at what she had and all hunger fled. What I did mind was this: After dinner, instead of de- manding the theatre or an evening hegan to go sary groceries, of inanity, she always wanted to be THIS (S WHAT (S KNOW N cy v HT ND CENTRAL STATON! taken to be weighed. So we'd drive to the nearest scale, she'd borrow her penny, veil her eyes, climb aboard. suddenly unveil them and look. ‘The re- sult always disappointed her:—a mere lovely 106 pounds she wanted to re- duce to, and the scales would register a fatal 108, She would climb back into the car sayi That scale is all wrong. Let's find another.” Well, off we'd go to another, We cavorted in and out of drug-stores; climbed down subway station after subway station (they're asking five throw for this privilege now). She even went so far as to disrobe herself partially for a Grand Central scale—but the scales always read the 108 horrible Ibs. Her temper got gloomicr and gloomier as we pro- gressed and [ cannot recall the num ber of pounds of fortune telling cards she collected. My only consolation for my spent youth and pennies, was that she got a free psychoanalysis out of those cards. Anyway, the result was always the Eventually around wee in the yawning we'd come on a battered old that looked rusty and moth Anyone looking at it would that it was off about four and probably was used to in burgomasters in New York they still weighed them in, But she'd mount it, drop her coin and it would 1 the magic thank-heaven for figure: You see I've lost,” she would ery, “aren't you hapy Which I w and still parted our ways. cents ¢ same- same, eaten, am. I've comicbooks.com