Judge — March 19, 1932 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Advice to Chain Letter Writers rrer thirteen years as a faithful link in the chain letter business, I have at last retired, and feel that it is incumbent upon me to offer some advice gage in this flourishing business. Before setting down any rules, how ever, I wish to impress upon the nov- ice the making that an alleged chain letter is a chain letter before it is re-circulated. A chain letter comes anonymously and tells you to send seven copies to seven to those who are about to en necessity for sure friends within seven days, or misfor tune will knock at your door. My warnings may be superfluous, but I knew a man once who went off half- cocked, and sent seven copies of his gas bill to seven neighbors and noth- ing ever came of it. He just wasted fourteen cents and a lot of time. Now then, here are some simple rules for your guidanc 1, Never try to start a chain—there are too many well-established chains now in circulation, and the field is overcrowded with letters that have built up reputations for themselves. Perhaps the best known letter is the one “started by an American army officer in France” during the world JUDGE The Boy from the Farm Feels Less Homesick Now. war. I have had it 32 times since the Armistice and wish to emphas: the fact that no one has tampered with the text—it is the same letter today it was then. It takes a mighty good letter to remain unaltered after thir- Mepiua'’s Son—Yes, I’m taking Dad's crystal to school with me for the exam this afternoon! 4 teen or fourteen years. Another pop- ular number is the one founded on re ligious tenets and circulated “for the benefit of the boys over there.” It probably started by someone who never set foot on the steps of a church except to tie a shoe lace, and I have never been able to figure out how it will help the boys over there, or any- where else, but I suppose it is not my business to question its efficacy. It seems to get results as far as circu lation is concerned. It has come to me 27 times in the past five years. 2. Do not send your seven copies to the same seven people every time. That is cheating, and might eventually throw the chain into a vicious cirel- where it would dic out. This would make the postal deficit bigger than ever and probably increase taxes. 3. Do not, under any circumstances, send any more chain letters to me. I have been on the retired list since the day I started out with my last batch of good-luck letters and broke a leg on the front steps. —Gensey Wittiams Puncture-Proot Science has found a way to pierce the armor of the pneumonia germ But the crust of the vacuum- salesman still is invulnerable. aner A lot of people who used to always he looking for speakeasi double these days. Th double the number of speakeasics. comicbooks.com