Judge — March 5, 1932 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

M rk, ARTHUR Hand, der whose thumb are the lazier pastimes of Palm Beach, looked at me through a mint julep which had everything in but goldfish ast] I'm going to prove to you there is no De- pression in Palin Beach! You're only here for a week, and you'll have to get any idea of sleeping out of your mind!” I looked — right back at sk! him through a mint julep, and = jittered “Okay!” Hand almost overdid his un- And Mr. promise. After my frozen hand had been pried from the julep tumbler, we Rolls-Royced over to Arthur's Colony- Ambassador Beach Club, the smart: thing in Palm Beach with the excep- tion of Mrs. Roger Wolfe Kahn. There I was made a member in good sitting with melodious ceremony. Three sing- ing sadists leaned on my ears rendered “Dancing on the Ce I having become famous for ¢ ing it too much at George L: Park Avenue Club in New York. gave each singer a cigarette, and w: shown to my bathhouse, which I sh with Arthur Brown, the crooner. (Arthur Brown is not to be confused with Arthur William Brown, who plays bass drums if he gets too near an okestra!) Mr. Brown loaned me his bathing suit, and my bathrobe was a towelly Chanel thing with a black bow which Millicent Jaeckel loaned me after one look at my figure. is just lovely—but Mrs. Kahn, the JUDGE former Hannah Williams—Ho-hum! I mean to say Mrs. Kahn once “Cheerful Little Earful” in and Low.” ang “Sweet Artur Hanp and I then stepped * into the sea where we met Sport Ward just stepping out. had walked over from Nassau with a load of Bourbon. The ocean—I think it’s the Atlantic—is much like any I believe he other ocean, unless you go too far to the north and it's February. go too far north in February Mrs. Roger Kahn in a b ing suit! (Note to Roger: The re son I didn’t fly with you in your Am- phibian was because I suspected be- ing seated on a trap-door over the !) I walked out up to my neck and then splashed my arms around so people on the terrace would think I could swim, <A small fish brushed ainst me, and I left the ocean im- mediatel Millicent Jaeckel was pretty mad at me because I'd absent- 4 mindedly gone to sea wearing li robe! I strolled across the sand, and looked! about the terrace. I saw James Mont gomery Flagg giving a large luncheon party to cight empty chairs. (They'r ng of Jimmy, “Al guest, but never a host.") I introduced myseli to the empty chairs and sat down. It was a mistake. It sce e chairs had all been occupied, hing but the check had been eaten and sipped. Jim didn’t tell me this, so I matched him for the check and lost. GLaNcep down at the wheel-chair causeway, and up the beach tran dled Colleen Moore, of Hollywood. 1 waved her to my t -I owned thy table by then—which was another mis take. I hadn't noticed a Mr. Mach amer sitting at her side. This Mach amer is a frightfully handsome artist with a heart like a meat-ball. He wears kid gloves at all times so he won't leave. finger-prints on ladies! Ther: was a hungry look in Mac's eyes— love for Colleen I hoped—but no, it was just for table things! * to be your guests, Junior,” he drooled. and I knew I might just as well buy a half interest in the Colony - Ambas- sador Beach Club! Then Sy- bil Stokes, Kim Moran, and Mil- licent—all hearty caters—sat down at my table, and my wave for a waiter looked more like a self- conscious : at a Fifth Ave. ordered wllaround. (If I'd only had a vial of some- thing to drip in his!) Then food comicbooks.com