Judge — February 6, 1932 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOUR WAITERS RUSHED To PLAY THE CELLO WHEN THE REVENUE RAIDERS DROPPED IW! The Musical Out T seems that during a prohibition raid all employees of the raided gin den are liable to arrest with the ex- ception of the musicians. It is, there- *, not unusual that waiters in are awfully nervous about They lead a jittery life, usual- 1 guilty of no. crime ’ except subservience, dropping soup on the customer, and sneering at tips. But the jocent must suffer with the guilty, you know. Life is like that. I know of a speakeasy where, one night, a raid suddenly developed with- out warni The waiters g touch of panic, and didn’t know what to do. It happened that the musicians were at dinner at that moment. So, when one of the waiters got the bright idea of rushing toa ‘cello and simulating all the soulful « tl of a Pablo Casals wooing a Federal nt (without Pablo's sounds), th 1 got the same idea, and there was a general stampede to the instruments. At this moment it came to the musicians that they were about to be caught with their ‘cellos n, and outside of blowing distance t instruments. More- over, they were likely to be taken for oy at JUNIOR WANTSA KNOW ~J\NHY NECK-BANDS MARKED *SI: waiters. And maybe you don’t know, but it is somethi awful to be about to be taken for a waiter, even tho you yoursel Fling green noodles and roast pheasant, they made a gallant dash for their Then began a battle royal as to who would man the This was going on, tooth and nail, when the agents suddenly ap- are a musician, g their way thru minestrone, instruments. instruments. peared. Immediately went quiet and the whole or- chestra took on the appear ance of the Philharmonic poised and ready for the downward swoop of Stokow- ski's baton to set them wailin The only thing that was u was that there were four men manipu- lating the big bass viol; three on the ‘cello; two on what was left of a vio- lin; one ready to work the stops on the saxophone; one to blow it; one waiter inside the bass drum; three at the piano, and four sitting on it about to croon. You can use your own imaginations as to what happened when the Seussian ensemble had to start playing. However, since the reve- everything Bach. usual R 24 \AIGH VAT nooers all had radios, they couldn't tell the difference It might be a good idea to take your piccolo with you henceforth to your favorite hushall. But, for heaven's sake, don’t play it. Indecent Necking ¥ there ix anything in this world that differs more than the specified size of a neckband on a gent’s new shirt and its actual size when put on, I'd like to meet up with it. I have learned, after fierce battles with new shirts (which either choked me purple or made me look like a percheron in an oversized half-sweeney), that you can never find two neckb ilar dimensions geeing with T have (Loud applause!) the hor and they tell me, distinctio: adorned with what is technically known as a small bull, or unsylpblike neck, and to decorate this magnific pile with something to get hot unc nds of sim- 1G shirt. (More ap- with a collar attached to fit at first crack. I have tried buying several shirts at once (My, he's got rocks). My bitter expe yas that in every lot I would find everything from wedding ring throat py streamline effect of a balloon tire. The oversnug ones I'd have to give to my toothpick-necked 16” ARE NEVER THE SAME Size ——? JUDGE comicbooks.com