Judge — January 2, 1932 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WIGH HAT everything but one eye... . Russia nearly became a world menace, the cowards. ... The French started spending money—in France and on the French...) The Scoteh joke was reborn and worked into a thankful . The rich got poorer and ot nerts. grave. . the poor New Year’s Special ne naval doctor was awakened by the phone jangling at 3 a.m. “What is it?” he asked sleepily. “Well, you see, doctor, we've been having big party and I'm terribly worried about Ensign Twu from the other end of th “But why bother me elephants or something * came wire. Is he seeing the doctor asked, annoyed. “That's the trouble, doctor,” was the reply. “The room is full of ‘em and he can’t see a Them’s Orders! Here ought to be a law against people spending New Y Time was when I ar’s Eve at home this year. thought thi sot out of hand a little on New Year's Eve and a lot of people ought to have been home in bed—including myself. But this year, people showing a proclivity for lock- ing all the doors at home and crawl- in dark closet to brood, pre- sumably about Mr. Hoover's Christ- List Tax Present, the public taverns and rousting places ought to he filled to overflowing. However, if you must stay home, I order you to surround yourself with no less than 50 people with large. hol- low legs and lovely exteriors. To lu- bricate the wheels of the evening and loosen the spirit, I would suggest a concoction potently known as Fish House Punch, The formula (in strict accordance with the Rules of our Constitution) : mas 1 qt. strong cold te: Strained juice of 1 pt. of Jamaica alabastine* 1 qt. of creme de muresco** 114 qts. of kalsomine*** 6 qts. of Sherwin-W 6 qts. of Apollinaris lemons liams**** Use a large punch bowl, pour the nd lemon juice over a cake of Stir, add ‘the liquors and then the Apollinaris. By adding more Kalsomine, the punch will be made stronger. *If no Jamaica alabastine can be had, Jamaica rum can be used as a substitute. **Creme de cacao may be more delicious than muresed ***Brandy for kalsomine, if neces- sary. ice. found TRAVEL TO EUROPE A Complete Crarel Service for 1932 D Ne ed . Nuxe or C economical By Motor, Independent or Conducted EUROPE BY MOTOR The world’s smartest travel service. Its fleet of cars includes such makes as Daimlers, Lincolns and Hispano-Suizas. Its staff of experi- enced chauffeur-couriers affords expert personalised service in showing Europe at its best. Our rates—and they are surprisingly moderate— include every expense and cover every contingency from the moment your car and driver-guide meet you at your starting point abroad. You may employ them by the day or week or you may follow a care- fully planned itinerary. In either case you are relieved of all detail and free fully to enjoy this perfection in travel luxury. RECREATION TOURS Economical escorted tours of proven popularity. They afford a wide choice of itineraries, complete sightseeing programs by motor, and the opportunity to do, as few travellers may, the smart thing wherever you go—theaters, beach parties, night clubs, in the show places of Europe. The all-inclusive rates range from only $385 to $925 per tour. INDEPENDENT TRAVEL Wherever you may travel and in whatever style you choose, one of our experts is ready to give you his personal attention and to arrange every detail of your trip, from your steamship reservations down to your hotels and train connections abroad. THE CALDWELL TRAVEL SERVICE, Inc. 665 Fifth Avenue ererThat Sherwin - Williams Sauterne, of course. And so to all of you, a Happy New Year which you can greet with clear head, eye and conscience by the gen- crous use of Pix-Up or Jitters on the morning of January 1, 19: is, Eye-Queues Sau and Jones were all even as “they approached the cighteenth hole. Smith got on in three, Jones in four. her player shot after ig the gree ut Smith won 29 New York City with « 3 for the eighteenth. How? A certain small cattle town out West has its railway station nearly a mile from the business square. Why was the station built so far from the town? st week’s—No, 1: n. high in. high and owes is 33, 31 in, high and owes $32. (A 2c stamped envelope'll bring you more detailed proof.) No. 2: The men must lie prone, head to toe. Barry is 31, Larry is Harry and owes —Juper Jr.