Judge — December 26, 1931 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| knife for a few minutes! Electricia: You would, would you— (And before anybody in the au- dience can pick up his hat, the Mam- mens go to work on each other and another three weeks of Christmas Eve elapse.) Mrs. M. I've lost think i hear someone the chimney. Now, you children pile Hf to bed, will yo Mama and Santy Claus (opening another play— which): Hark! I coming down count and leave lon Oh, yeah? Well, Arrestes is sticking. (Down the Santy Claus. He is carrying an overnight bag full, and his feet are full of bear traps. He rushes to Mrs. Mammon and embraces her ina way that would niake even Dr, Freud shudder.) Mrs, M. (coming to and slipping ck again): Ah, my dweat bid Santy Taus! [thought oo would never tum! (Before anything gets out of hand, as it looks as if it will, # rushes to Santy, throws open his cos- tume and pulls off his whiskers.) Electric! Just as T thought. Harry Richman in working the old chimney g: Arrestes (suddenly going again): Well, I'M be a dirty It's not father. There is a Electric: : I'm sticking and chimney comes retricia It’s normal name ! Santy ctricia: No, Arrestes, there is a u SANTY US NEVER JUDGE | LoATHE exectaica ‘anty Claus. It’s mom's 1. “Here, give him Jumps! (She hands him a blackjack Arrestes gives the boy friend lumps. They push the body out of the dow. Too la passing by. damage been done: the written, Mrs. M. gives a scream, and dives out after boy and xin it hits Eugene O'Neill, The play’s been has poor Harry.) Arrestes (undergoing a relapse and getting the sniffes): Vm afraid! I'm ifraid! I want my clectric trains and my poisoning outfit! Eleetricia: Stop sniffing, you jelly- fish. Stop being a Case History! Here Santy Claus with trains and poison. Arrestes: There santy Claus. It’s father. (Santy Claus No. 2 comes down the chimney. He is a fine figure of a Santy Claus, full of the bad blood of the Mam- He fills the stock ings, singing “Mammon Loves Papa, Papa Loves Mammon".) Arrestes (rushing to his stocking): By chus, look what I trains and no poiso only Helen Westley. gets in everything. (He rushes from stock- ing to stocking and pulls Helen Westley from each.) comes your is no your mons, ot! No It’s She Arrestes: and my twer} So I can’t have my trains can't I, you old Well, then, I'm going te you something. I'm going to give lumps. (nd so he does.) Electricia: So you'll old father lumps, will you? Ta that, and that! (Grabbing the black jack and giving him lumps.) Arrestes want trains, my ind my mama, Electricia: I dead, she’s dead. they're all dead! He's at peace, far above electric trains and poison. I think T'll give myself lumps. Lumps. lumps, lumps, lumps. There’s nothing left but lumps. [ think [Il give the audience lumps, too. My word, but they’ve and given’ themselves lumps! O, well, h hich lower, poison, give your poor (dying): 1 my gone takes about three during which the “Theme Song,” (Curtain, % hours to orchestra plays the from Freud.) Eye-Queues and owe All three have ages, hei counts of different by tiptoeing exactly himself as tall as the ry’s account. Barry could, by pas a dollar on his account, make it the same as If Barry had heen born a year later he would have been too young to be in this Harry's height is not the same as Bar- (Continued on page 31) acec fimire Se Larry's 4 comicbooks.com