Judge — December 26, 1931 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE thought it couldn't go any lower a cocktail before my bath “Huh! You think you've got troubles co years ago T thought the market would go higher—yesterday I this morning I catch myself mixing listen to mine!” Another Plan to End the Depression T He latest plan to end the depres sion consists in forming a Hoover commission of say ten or eleven mem- bers. Each member of this commis- sion will then appoint anotl tnission of ten members and, out the cha body who Fr com- rying in-letter idea, with every- as been appointed to a commission appointing a commission of his own, it won't be long before everybody in the country will be ¢ commission, With everybody on every commis- sion making a report, the paper and pulp industry will receive an impetus. The ink m. sturers will iner their production of black ink and di- minish their production of red ink. Every citizen will be expected to read these reports, and this will mean not only lots of work for the printers but more work for the oculists and op- ticians. Thus the wheels of industry will be started in motion and everyone who has had his k to the 1 and his ear to the ground will put his shoul- der to the wheel. The building trades will pick up. w warchouses will have to be built s repositories for these reports. Trucks will have to be built to t these reports to the warehouses. This will not only increase the business of the truck manufacturers but will give more work to truck drivers. More truck drivers will mean more traffic cops and inore traffic cops will mean more crowded traffic courts and a consequent appointment of more judges. If these judges are required to purchase their jobs, it will mean more prosperity for the politicians. More prosperity for politicians will mean more work for bank clerks, and fewer banks will fail with so many deposits coming in all the time. > deposits will mean more inves- ns and more men on the staffs of the investigators. More investiga- tions will mean more work for the newspaper reporters and headline writers. Thus industry will be all around, More subways will have to be built to carry these investigators to and from their work, The slogan will be stimulated a seat for every investi only in the courtrooms but ways.” tor, not the sub- Funds for the still unemployed ean he raised by: stagi between a team composed of gators on one side and recalcitrant witnesses on the other, Hawkers can make extra money at these games by selling buttons with bury’s portrait on them. It’s all very simple. —R. C, O'Brien THAI. “That wasn't mistletoe, you sap ve —it was poison ivy!” “They say he’s hot stuff” comicbooks.com